Sunday, November 11, 2012

Vampire Diaries: Is This Vampire Diaries or "A Very Special Brady Bunch?"


WTF?!  Can someone please tell me what in hell has happened to the Vampire Diaries?!  Everyone is frolicking around, hunting bad guys like those meddling kids in the Mystery Van...and not feeding on people or at least being badass like vampires are SUPPOSED to.  

Um Stefan - is there some reason you’re forcing Elena to kill Bambie and not let her run around and be a “bad guy” like she’s supposed to?  I just asked Tom if he thought Stefan was going to take Elena flower picking soon.  This is too much to bear.  It’s like this huge, dorky town full of Cullens!  The only thing keeping my sanity right now is Damon.  Thank golly for a real, old-fashioned blood sucker. 

OK now waitttt a minute...waittt a minute...Elena’s at the pulpit...about to become a pile of goo...oh wait, that’s True Blood.  OH yeah.  Stefan just came to her rescue as we’re turning to page 42 in our hymn books.  

Oh em GEE - how about Elena giving Matty a vampirific church hicky!  WOWsa.  

Oh but nevermind Tyler getting shot or the invisatattoo on the minty, bad dude at the bar...because Stefan is too busy giving Elena whisky - straight - out of a lovely intricately-cut Waterford glass.  Gosh, if I had a dime for every highschooler I knew who did that...

Oh SHIT NO.  Did y’all see Stefan hand out Japanese lanterns so they can properly grieve the Council?!?  Has everyone just gone totally outer limits?!?  Gotta love them all saying “this is for Vicky...this is for Alaric...”  I’d be like “This is for Stefan’s coolness” because CLEARLY it died with all the others.  Way to GO DAMON for saying NO to all this cutsie horseshit!!!

Lorddddddd...one thing to say in closing: 

ALARIC IS HOT!!!!!!!

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