Game of Thrones: Second Sons and Lots of Douchebaggery Goodness

Spoiler alert:  I am caught up on GOT - aka TWO MORE EPISODES LEFT in Season 3, y'all!

Yeah Khal.  I'm about to
do your wife. Any questions?  

WHAT the F.  That Titus Pullo clone who is being totally gross and disrespectful to Khaleesi really needs to die.  HOW revolting.  His hot companion is a different story entirely.  I have a feeling he's the new Mr Dragon Lady. 

They had better NOT kill this adorable little Baratheon bastard.  He's so cute.  I can see a future for that kid as long as he avoids the lady in red and her lamb-slaughtering henchmen. 

Ooooh it speaks!!!  He is HOT!!! Titus' buddy is smokin'!  Dragon lady will soooo sleep with him.

AHHHHH!!! Sansa is so lucky she's marrying Tyrion.  She just doesn't know it.  I love how he asked if she drank wine.  He's probably going to go back to his old ways and is about to consort heavily with The Drink.  He reminds me of Arthur.  "Marry {Sansa}...and cheat with the nobody from Queens." 

I just hate you because you're younger
and cuter than me.  Prepare for misery. 

Holy crap - Cersei scares the bejesus out of me.  Anne Boleyn better watch out.  She'll eat her liver with some fava beans...and a nice Chianti.  She's pure evil...just like her son. 

OMG THE WEDDING!!  And Joffrey's giving Sansa away!  Oh this poor girl!!!  This is like Princess Bride!  Where's Wesley?!  Where's the Giant?  Where's Inego Mantoya?

Joffrey...are you being a douche, YET
again?  Why yes...I believe you are.  

OMG Joffrey you dickity douchey douchebag!!!  He pulls the step stool away and his ASSHAT of a grandfather does NOTHING!!!  And whoa - is it me or does the priest look like Elvis?  What's with the porkchop sideburns?

BB aka Baratheon Bastard.  

OH geez - the lady in red who spews black powder monsters from her loins is all "you think I'm trying to poison you??"  No, bitch, I KNOW you're trying to poison me!   BB (Baratheon Bastard )  fight her!  Keep your eyes open!!!  Are the lambs still screaming????

OH SHIT - she's derobing him.  Yikes.  this poor guy is like "WTF - I'm just trying to live life and be the BB I am."  OMG she just hates keeping her clothes on, doesn't she??

"Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock" - greatest line of the night!  Ohhhh gramps.  You really have a way with evil, rudedog words.  

Oooh snap.  Khaleesi DOES have herself a new boy toy and he is cute!  Good thing he beheaded those assholes.  I couldn't stand one more second of Titus Pullo and his dirty mouth.  Even Orbit couldn't have saved that jackass.

WHAT was that scary assed thing that almost killed the adorable overweight kid and his babymama girlfriend???  That was one of the best scenes I've seen in a LONG time...on ANYTHING!

ONCE Upon a Time: Season 2 Finale

Spoiler Alert:  I have finished Season 2.

YEY!  So happy Mr. Gold turned Lacey back into Belle.  That was so CUTE!  They were makin' out!  I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Gold kiss anyone before!

OK so they were standing together and my husband and I had the following exchange:

Hubby: Wasn't she more attractive in LOST?
Me:  Wasn't he more attractive in...everything else he's ever been in?

This show is getting out of control.  So now we have three worlds.  1) Storybrook...2) The Old World (whatever the heck it's called) and 3) Neverland.  Lordddddddddd I hope we don't run into Michael Jackson there.

I am concerned about all this Neverland crap.  They seem to be turning Peter Pan into a meany pie,
"Shadow" or not.  The Lost Boys (how appropriate) are mean, too.  I don't mind changing fairytales...but sheesh, people.  It's Neverland and Peter Pan.  Come on, now!  Maybe Peter Pan will show up next season and save the day.  THAT would be cool.

I have to admit that I'm underwhelmed at the Henry-stuck-in-Neverland story for next season.  Whatevs.  He'll end up having a grand old time and inviting people back to Storybrook for some of Regina's apple turnovers.

WHAT is with separating Gold and Belle??  Is there no one else in that town who can watch the store (which, apparently, from the looks of last night's sign shot, is a PAWN SHOP with a few antiques thrown in. Hmmm).  You mean they can't go grab one of the dwarfs or Red and say "Ummm...yeah...follow these directions, Chumley...we'll be back in a flash."

OK so not back until the fall.  Again - I'm oddly not very bothered by that.  Hoping they're not falling into a writing rut like LOST.  And I hope they bring Neil back.  He was cool.  And I miss Rene so much on True Blood; it was a weekly fix.

PS - Hook - you are HOT, dude.  Keep it up.

Game of Thrones: All Sorts of Cray Cray Happening Now

SPOILER ALERT:  I am current in Game of Thrones as of Sunday, May 12th. 

GO John Snow.  I knew he'd stand up for himself to the dude who tried to cut him loose.  John's been steadily growing a set since he got together with the furry people and Jan Brady.

OMG Rob Stark is thinking with NOTHING but his Johnson.  It's pathetic.  And his mother knows it.  And she knows he's going to get them all killed.

Oh lordddddddddd...Rob Stark's wife has a bun in the oven.  Even MORE to keep him from doing his job and thinking like a king.

Eeek...so the dude who almost killed John Snow and Jan Brady has a thing for Jan!  OutSTANDing!

Uh ohhhh...Sansa is pouring her heart out to Anne Boleyn from the Tudors...aka the future Mrs. Joffrey Borathean.  Who, PS, is AWESOME on pretty much any show she's on.  Thank God Sansa has her to talk to.  And I can't believe she admits what Joffrey did to her!  (Do we know exactly what he did to her?)

Great conversation between Tyrion and his right hand man:  "If you waste time trying to get people to love you you'll end up the most popular dead man in town."  I agree with the right hand man.  Tyrion wants Sansa...he just doesn't want to admit he wants Sansa.

I have a sneaking suspicion Joffrey is going to have his grandfather killed one day.  I'm just not sure when.

Ohhhh boy.  Khaleesi is about to steal s'more slaves.  NICE.

OMG I feel so bad for Tyrion's whore.  The poor thing.  And I was cheering her when she stood up for herself.  As much as I love myself some Tyrion Lannister, I'd have done the same thing.  She has to look out for herself...and he can't have his cake and eat it too.

On the Borathean bastard:

Hubby:  He's...he's...(then, simultaneously):
Hubby: The Full Monty's son.
Me:  Fred Flinstone's son.

LOL!! So funny.

OH MY GOD they're going to cut off ________ johnson!!!!!  Holy CRAP!  That scene was horrifying!!

And now Jan Brady is realizing that John Snow has zero intentions of going over the wall with her and her furry friends.  I thought she'd flip out on him...but instead...she jumped him!  That was tremendous!!!

Vampire Diaries: Elena, You Ignorant Slut

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up on Vampire Diaries as of today.  Next week is the season finale of season - crap - what season is this? LOL!

OH my god...I can't believe how completely ridiculous this show has gotten.

OMG Sooooo annoying. Somebody punch her, please. 

Matt is what, 17?  18?  And he's behind the bar, serving alcohol.  Is that even legal?  And then Rebecca grabs a bottle of...whatever...and walks away with it in the bar.  And these are supposed to be HIGH SCHOOL students! WTF?

And is this Vampire Diaries?  Or The Elena Show?  I am so sick of her, I don't know what to do.  And don't get me wrong; I like Nina Dobrev.  I think she's a cool chick.  I'll betcha SHE'S sick of Elena, too!

And OMG if one more person shows up and ends up to be Silas...UGH.  Gag.  It was cool early on...the first time or two...but now it's just a free-for-all and totally ridiculous.

OMG could ANYONE ELSE in this town be living for Elena?  It's SO annoying.

For the love of all that's holy, WHEN are
the producers going to let us make OUT?

There is only one thing that is cool right now:  ALARIC!!!!!!!  I have never been so happy to see a
really dead after so many fake deaths character in my life!  Isn't he adorable?!

And wait - if they don't get Rebecca and Matt together soon I'm going to scream.  I LOVE them...and he deserves to play something other than the Munsters' cousin Marilyn after all his loyal service all these years.

And...whoa...wait!  NOW we're getting somewhere!  Rebecca's old boyfriend from the cover of the Harlequin novel?!  YOWSA!  He's adorable in his Men In Tights ensemble!  LOVE!!  And the other vampire hunters are back, too.  Whoever writes this is ripping off so much shiz from Supernatural, it's not even funny.  And I gave up on that show after about 6 seasons...so I'm getting a little nervous about this one.

I have no good reason for including this photo, other than
they both look ridiculously hot in it.  So here it is.  Enjoy. 

BUT - it's amazing how this show can turn things around in ONE episode.  I started out miserable (see above) but now I think I can get behind some of these new story lines!

And PS - y'all should never have killed off Steve McQueen's hot grandson of the same name.  That kid is sorely missed.

Oh and another PS - if y'all think Bonnie is dead, you're fooling your damned selves.  She's died like 5 times already, too.

Game of Thrones: Ten Shows in One!

Spoiler Alert:  I'm caught up as of today. 

***NOTE:  Beware.  I started off this post with no recollection of newer character names.  I hope my descriptions suffice.

I'm so upset because I am running
out of things to be upset by.

OK...a few minutes in and trying to remember who the curly haired chick who can't skin a rabbit is?  Why don't I remember her?  And it's pretty surprising that they both obey listen to the little Stark kid.  Uh ohhhh...the Stark kid's young advisor and dreamer-at-large saw Jon Snow..."on the wrong side of the wall, he was surrounded by enemies."  DOH!  That's not good news now, is it??  I hope Jan Brady isn't going to sell John out again.

Oh for the love of god...speaking of Jon Snow - does he ALWAYS have to look so damned miserable?  Geez dude...you just got laid for god's sake...smile for a second, would ya?

Oooh Arya is learning to handle a bow so she can be even more badass when she gets older and rules.  Yup.  I said it.  She'll rule.  You saw it here first.  (LOL those of you who read the books are laughing at me right now, I'm sure.)

Ew.  This redheaded chick who springs forth black powder babies from her loins bugs the crap out of me.  And here she is - in a cave - with guys I'll call Dude 1 and Dude 2.  Dude 1 has really bad teeth and Dude 2 has one eye...and "dies all the time" according to my husband.  Uh oh...one-eyed Dude 2 says he's been to the other side and it's dark.  I'm thinking that shouldn't be a surprise to the red headed chick as she's a freakkkkkkkk of the devil.

Ooooh snap!  They took Arya's bud and Arya stood up to her and asked if he (Dude 1) was taking him because of the Lord of Light - or because of the redheaded beotch.  And the read headed beotch just said a bunch of jibberish to Arya's bud - and says she "sees darkness" in Arya.  Shiz.  Wait - more jibberish fron Red about different colored eyes that Arya will "shut forever".  WTF does that mean?  Ugh...I loathe her cryptic bullshit.  Arya should just kill her now so we can move this along and get back to Jaime Lannister (who doesn't seem to be making an appearance this evening, damnit!)

How long do you think you can stand
to see me hanging on this big, huge X? 

OH my god this Theon-tied-to-an-X thing is reallyyyyyy freaking me out.  I'm getting a little sick Please...cut it off!"
of all these freaks cutting off appendages on this show.  Geez - at least give me more than 2 weeks to recover before you start threatening to cut off a pinky.  And I love how no one bleeds to death.  They just soak their stump for a bit and everything works out OK.  Oh crap - he guessed that...fjddddddd!!!!!  Sorry...keyboard slip when the pinky business started.  SHIT - he BEGGED him to cut it off!  I thought "No way is he every going to beg him to cut it off" and BAM!  "

OK I think I need to go throw up now.  GOD this show is gross.

"The lords of my fists are about to compel your teeth."  ROFLMAO!  Best...line...ever!!!  That's the type of thing I'd say to my kids only it would be more like "The lords of my palm are about to compel your backside."  NOT that I ever follow through.  And they've realized this by now and laugh at me when I say things like that.  And then we all start laughing and I forget what I was annoyed at in the first place.

OK WAIT!!!!

What do you mean I can't go with Jaime??  But I'm in a dress!

SASQUATCH IN A DRESS!!! All dolled up with her hair did!  OMG, that RULES!  It was so surprising, it stopped me from getting all aflutter over Jaime Lannister showing up on screen.  Poor thing...trying to cut his meat with his left hand.  And if he can't do that, how's he going to learn how to use a sword?  Dang.  And DANG - did you see that subtle little hand touch when Sasquatch held up her knife.  OH yeah.  They're gonna do it.  It's only a matter of time.

"You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter, I assure you."  Another awesome line - this time by Olenna.

"True, we don't tie ourselves in knots over a discreet bit of buggery..."  OMG I love this woman.

HOLY Crap.  Apparently one little pick ax can topple a whole mountain.  I thought that was IT for

I'm just pissed because I don't have a
girlfriend who looks like Jan Brady.

Jan Brady.  Seriously.  I never thought she'd make it up that mountain after the crack heard round the 7 kingdoms.  And you knowwwwww this is not over between Jon Snow and that ugly dude who cut the rope.  Not by a longshot.  We'll be seeing this come up again.  I hope John grows a set and kills that ass.

Sansa is all excited about her wedding...and the Tyrell dude is all excited about wearing her dress after she takes it off.  LOL

Holy SHIT SHIT SHIT...Tyrion is going to tell Sansa that he has to marry her...but his girlfriend/ho is in the room and won't leave!  SHIT!!!!  OMG here it comes.  "This is awkward."  ROFLMAO.  SHIT and they leave us there!  NOooooo!!!

Ew.  Joffrey is just disgusting.  Seriously.  Just gross.  Someone should hang him upside down and tickle his feet until he squeals like the little baby he is.  What a loser.  And Cersea is his mother...so you know she's as evil as they come for rearing such a shitty little bastard.

"Sansa, don't you know how lucky you
are?  I am the hottest bad boy to come
down the pike since Neil Patrick Harris!"

DOH!  Tito, get Sansa a tissue.  She's upset that she has to marry Tyrion, which tells me m'girl is CRAY CRAY because I would HIT THAT like nobody's business.  And is it me or does Tyrion's girlfriend/ho seem more pissed than upset?  I love her - I really wish they could be together out in the open.  Never say never.

OH boy. Jon Snow, you ignorant slut!  Nahhhh he's adorable.  I'm glad he's finally adopted this "eff it - I don't care" attitude about kissing his girl on top of the mountain.  Even if she does look like the movie Jan Brady.

Next week scenes:  Oh NO!  Jamie is leaving Sasquatch!  Oh good - Khaleesi.  EEEK...so much going on next week, I can't keep up!  They are getting to this point where almost everyone is in every episode.  Holy crap - it's like a highly concentrated hit of character goodness every week!

ONCE Upon a Time: Peter Pan is SO Rude!

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm up to the 2nd to last episode in Season 2.  

I'm just as cute on Once as
I was on True Blood, yeah? 

Holy crap.  Neil sure does have shitty luck with portals!  WTF?? Where'd he go?  And he finally found out that Tamara was up to no good, too.  That is reallyyyyyy annoying.  They better bring his ass back.  It was upsetting enough when they killed him off True Blood.  I don't think I could deal with it if he didn't show up and get back with Emma.

Ugh - Mr. Gold.  I'm tired of his whole setup with "Lacey".  She's baaaaaad news.  Worse than he is.  I fear she's going to leave him.  Or kill him.  One of the two.  (Has anyone ever pondered the enormity of this show without Robert Carlyle?  I can't even imagine.)

Oooh snap - I'm still watching and "Bay" aka "Neil" aka "Rene" was just dropped in the water by Evil Peter Pan (which I don't like at ALL.  Who makes Peter Pan evil??  THAT pisses me off.)

Wait - Neil is on a ship.  Gotta be...yup...HOOK.  He's now on Hook's boat.  Oh SHIT!  Gold killed Hook's girlfriend aka Gold's own slutty wife!  And now his own son is on the ship with Hook!  Didn't see THAT one coming.

Emma is all upset about Neil.  But...hello?  He's fallen through a portal before...what makes her think he won't come back again?  Such a glass half empty type of girl.

And um, meanwhile, could they at least give us some sort of HINT as to where Neil is now?  WAIT - WAIT - WAIT - Hook was WITH Tamara and the weird dude earlier in the episode.  Maybe HE has Neil now...just like he had him when he was a kid and was in the water!

Lordddddddd Snow's hair.  Don't get me wrong - she's adorable with short hair.  But this?  It's practically shaved.  And that is a toughhhhh look for women to pull off.  She needs a little flip in the back or something.

Oh shiz - Regina built a curse into the gem.  Tamara and her dorky boyfriend have it.  Uh ohhhh...she wants to "blow Storybrook off the map".  Not exactly a fun scenario.

Lorddddddd the Avengers...NOT.

OMG - next week:  Regina, Charming, Snow and Emma - all running toward us in dark colors...just
like the Avengers.  Lord, it's like Season 4 of True Blood.  Meh.

Season finale next week too.  Wonder what the cliff hanger will be this time.  Lemme guess?  They all end up back in the old world.  Or the new world.  Shit, I can't keep this show straight.  It's like LOST with prettier costumes.

Game of Thrones: WTF is Going On?

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm up to the most recent episode, Through the Fire and the Flames.

Step OFF, bitch!

Finally catching up on Game of Thrones.  Is it me or is this show is getting ridiculously confusing?   It's like trying to figure out an SAT word problem when you've got a wicked cold and took a little too much Dimetapp.  For the love of all that's holy...I'd almost rather watch Khaleesi bitch about her dragons for another season.

OK so WTF has happened to the House of Stark?  They're scattered all over the universe.  I loved them early on when Ned was the head of the household and the boys used to frolic in the meadow with their wolves.  I'll tell you one thing; that Arya is a badass.  I think she's more competent to handle the throne than Rob.  Lordddd that guy is a hot mess.  Either send your MOM and wife home or tell them to fix you a turkey pot pie.  Geez...do SOMETHING other than whine, dude.

Why am I freezing out here
when I could be skinny-
dipping with John Snow?

It's the new Jan Brady!

And John Snow and the redhead (who reminds me of the movie Jan Brady)... HEL-loooooo.  "I just wanted to kiss you there" (said in a cockney Paul McCartney accent, circa 1964).  I guess we all saw that coming.  But is it me or was it a little...uncomfortable?  The whole scene seemed a little disjointed.

Holy hell - here comes poor Jamie Lannister and his hand hanging around his neck.  OH SHIT - that wrist is looking GNARLY.  Dayam.  Take the milk of the poppy, ya dumbass!  WHat are you thinking?  That always makes me laugh when they try to tough it out when someone's basically pulling their skin off with the equivalent of a handmade hacksaw.  Lovely.

I just wish they'd give me
something else to do but
bitch all damn day!

I don't even know what
to say about Sasquatch.

OMG finally Rob Stark shows some balls.  But how can he when he's gotta Mama (who IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS) and his new wifey questioning his every move??  THAT'S IT. Forget the pot pie.  He needs to send them the hell home.  They don't belong with him at war.  Although...um...since when does the king double as executioner?  Kindof bizarre.

OMG Jamie Lannister you poor bugger.  That story!  He is going to FORCE me to love him, damnit.    Why didn't he TELL anyone?  And it makes him even more attractive that he didn't!  And I swear, I think he's going to hook up with Sasquatch.  I think I might even like it!  She rules.  Let's be honest.  Starkmom was a fool to let her go.  Hell - Rob's getting so uptight that he might lop off HER head next.

I'm sorry, what?  I wasn't listening.  I was too busy
coming up with my next douchy move toward Tyrian.

OK so...by the lacking nature of this post, you can pretty much tell how much this episode sucked.  I'm leaving whole storylines out because they were boring confusing as hell.  UNTIL THE LAST SCENE.  Holy crap!!!  I don't know what I loved more...the juicyness of the entire scene...or the smirk-wiping Cersei suffered when she found out she has to marry that Tyrell guy who's always bedding the guys.  That was de-LICIOUS.

I am the sceeviest man on this show. 

She was sitting there all smug at poor Tyrian...who has such a good heart.  If they marry him off to Sansa, it'll be totally bizzarre...but AWESOME.  You can't GET a better storyline!  OMG Sansa is going to freak.  Although  - ew - does she want Littlefinger?  Gross.  SO sceevy.  If I were her, I'd be all "sounds good to me!"   I love myself some Tyrian Lannister.  He's hot...and you'd laugh your ass off all damn day!

Hunger Games 2: Official Trailer

Ooooh...who knew?! I had no idea this trailer was out already!

 

Game of Thrones: Translator, Please

Spoiler Alert:  I am caught up with HBO on Game of Thrones.  

OMG it's getting HAIRY.  My friend Shannon called this AM and said "Did you see Game of Thrones?  I'm confused!"  and I said "Helllll yeah; I am, too!"  LOL

Seriously - the secondary characters and storylines are getting a little hard to follow without pie charts, bar graphs and the ever-famous Game of Thrones Character Wiki.  But that's OK because it's so good, I cannot contain myself!

If you think for one minute that Khaleesi is giving away that dragon, I've got a bridge to sell you in Siberia.  (That is soooo not the way it goes, but work with me here.)  Shannon thinks that dragon is going to fly back to her...and I tend to agree.  Or she's got something else up her sleeve.  But what crazy-assed, Dothraki-speaking, unnaturally blonde bitch runs around waxing on about her dragons for an entire season...and then SELLS one?  Aint-go'-happen, y'all.  She's plotting...and I'm giggling.

Onward.  Tyrion, my love, what have they done to you??  Your poor face.  It makes me cry.  And your self-confidence seems to be wavering in the shadow of your ASSHOLE, possibly non-paternal father.  But you did well with pulling the chair to the head of the table (always one step ahead of Cersei).  Now we've just got to get you back with that sweet, little hooka you shack up with and send you on your way...AWAY from these horrible people who keep you DOWN in life.  And to the ever awesome Peter Dinklage, I say  "WHAT'S UP JERSEY BOY???"  (Always have to remind everyone he's "from Jersey" and not some town in England with a "shire" on the end.)

And that sweet little hooka is protecting Sansa, thank GOD.  That poor girl.  I've wanted her out of that craphole kingdom ever since SATAN showed her her father's head on a stick.  And might I ask...has anyone ever noticed how incredibly odd-looking striking Joffrey is??  He's played by a 21 year old named Jack Gleeson.  How'd you like the be the guy who was purposely hired because you look off-putting striking in order to look realistic whilst playing the son of a brother/sister team??  And if you google him, you'll find the photographers/make-up artists/designers/etc play up his strange features strikingness wonderfully.  Just look at that GQ creep show!!!

Last but not least (for today; I could go on all night about this show) OMG JAIME LANNISTER'S HAND!  WTF??? That was SICK!!!!  And I am so afraid of what is going to happen to Sasquatch.  They clearly have zero respect for human life OR dignity.  They might be even worse to her now that Jaime mouthed off.  And now Cersei isn't going to want him anymore, now that he can't fight big, bad...uhhh...bad guys with his sword.  Maybe Arya Stark will teach him to fight left handed.

The Walking Dead Finale: Um...OK?

SPOILER ALERT:  I have now finished Season 3 of The Walking Dead. 

Add a Brady Bunch tune to 

this graphic and you pretty
much have the end of season 3.

Um, could someone tell me WTF I just watched?  They ENDED the season with joyful music and a close-up of a cross?  (Whose was that, by the way?)

Where's the big cliff hanger?  Where's the angst?!  They finished EVERYTHING and tied it all up in a pretty pink bow!  WTF is up with that?!  They should've dragged out the Andrea scene into next season.  (Totally bummed that she's dead, by the way.  I loved her.  Although she didn't have much of a place in either camp this season; I should've expected it.)

Dad, did you steal another
one of my Bud Lights?
I want it back.  GO!!

OK so let's talk Carl.  Lordddddddddddd the ever-annoying Carl.  I can't STAND when kids think uncle" and throws that stupid cowboy hat across the walker-laden fields like an extreme frisbee.  HOW funny was it when he saw all those people get off the makeshift school bus (it was like the anti-Partridge bus from hell) and was obviously soooo mad?!  I cheered!  Rick was all "you killed one kid and I saved like 20, dumbass" with his eyes.  It ruled.  As much as I love Rick, that's how much I can't stand Carl.  Lori's kid, through and through.
they're adults.  That kid annoys me so much, I want to grab his cute little nose and twist it until he yells "

Not enough Daryl tonight.  LOVED when Carol got all badass and killed that walker when Glenn and Maggie were closing the gate.  It was like "Whoa - where's Carol's mojo been all this time?!"

"Real life" shot, but
aren't they so cute?!

OMG Michonne.  Michonne, Michonne, Michonne.  I love her character so much.  She's SO stylish (I am the queen of wraps, so I dug tonight's ensem), she's so pretty and she's SUCH A FRIGGIN BADASS...I just want to hug her.  She doesn't even FLINCH when she kills those walkers.  And how about her reunion with Andrea?  OMG I was so sad.  And she refused to leave her.  Did you catch the irony in that?  Andrea left Michonne.  I just LOVE THIS SHOW.

So sad we have another 6 months until it's back.  What will I do until then?  I woke up dreaming about walkers this AM and I hadn't even seen the show in two weeks!  I am already in withdrawal!  I'm running out of shows!  Somebody better bring Walter White or Jax Teller back soon or I'm going to lose my shizzle!!!

Natural Born Charmer: Withdrawal Much?!

I just finished Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

I cannot even think of starting another book as I am IMMERSED in the world of Dean and Blue.  And April, Jack, Riley...and most of all NITA.  I miss her sooo much.  She was my favorite character!  What a juicy bitch!  Yet, she was masking her soft side.  Just like Blue masked her soft side.  Just like April masked her soft side.  Just like Riley masked...just about everything.  I totally want that awesome kid to come live with me so I can buy her clothes and do her hair, but she's...um...fictional.  And seeing as my own 11 year old daughter isn't too keen on me doing her hair, I guess it's a good thing she's not real!

Seriously...I can't say enough about this book.  I loved the town. I LOVED the farm.  I want to MOVE there.  Holy crap, between April's spectacular renovations and the hilarity that goes on in that town?  NOT TO MENTION the hilarity between Dean and Blue?  OH my god I am in such withdrawal.

I have to send out a huge THANK YOU to JJ and Tonya, because they made me read this book.  And JJ is also a thousand percent correct in her assessment that this would make a fantastic screenplay.  I see this as a weekly TV series.  This town...these characters...they are just too good not to take to another level.  I can't get enough of them.

I have to admit though...I was reeling when Dean's friends showed up out of nowhere and he blew off Blue.  WTF?!?  Don't get me wrong - I understood him being blind-sided and not quite knowing what to do or say.  But when Blue went to the STORE FOR THAT BITCH, COURTNEY?!?  OH my god, I was so mad at her for doing that.  My ass would have walked out then and there.  I won't blame Dean, because I'm not sure he even know that happened, but still.  He left with them and apparently accepted Courtney as one of his many girlfriends for the day.  More WTF?!?  THAT was stepping WAY out of line.  I wished we'd have heard that he pulled her aside and set her straight (like he did with that bimbo at the end, thank god.)  I was literally shaking in my bed when I read that whole section.  I couldn't put it down because I could not even begin to think about sleeping after that.

Relationships I loved:

When Dean finally gave in and let himself become Riley's brother.  I was aching for this to happen.  Hell, I'd love a book about their relationship in the years to come.

Jack and Blue?  Priceless.  She was terrified of him and I could relate to that in a zillion ways.  My Jack Patriot is John Taylor from Duran Duran.  (I can hear you giggling across the country, Staci!)  When I first met him (yes, I said "first".  Groupie, much?), I figured I'd never get the chance to speak to him again (and had some serious beer guts working).  So I tapped him on the back to get his attention...and when he turned around, all I could manage was "Great show!"  GREAT SHOW?! Reminds me of Baby in Dirty Dancing.  "I carried a watermelon?!"  This was followed by a horrifically embarrassing interview at a Duran Duran gallery exhibit where I told the camera I couldn't believe the suit he wore in the Save a Prayer video was so..."orange"...knowing the video was for him.  Yes.  You read that right.  Fifty million times I've watched Save a Prayer, and that's all I can get out of my mouth?!?  Orange?!  OK - digression over.  Moving on...

Riley and Nita - OMG Nita made my heart bleed a few times.  And even though her compliments were half-assed and backhanded, I knew she meant well and was just as insecure as everyone else.  And I have to tell you, I'm a little upset that Jack left with April and Riley.  Poor Nita!  New housekeeper or not, she and Riley were great little friends.  I hope Riley visits every summer and Skypes with Nita.

Speaking of Nita...one person who instantly came to my mind to play her:  Dale Raoul who plays Maxine Fortenberry on True Blood.  I know she's much younger than the character, but I can't help it.  She plays such a tremendous southern, small-town BEOTCH on True Blood; I saw her immediately when Nita showed up in the diner and sat down with Blue and Riley.  Perhaps we can un-gnarl her knuckles just a wee bit?  :)

More casting tomorrow.  I'm going to be thinking about this in my sleep.

The Walking Dead: Twists and Turns

SPOILER ALERT:  I have one episode left in Season 3 of Walking Dead. 

Dangit Merle!  I was just starting to think I might be able to not totally hate you eventually, you dumbass!!!  OMG poor Daryl having to kill him.  I am so sick over that.  That poor soul has done nothing but help everyone else since Day 1...and now he has to kill his own brother.  It's so unfair.  (LOL I didn't give a rat's ass when Carl had to kill Lori.  What does that say about me?)

LOVED when Merle let Michonne go.  That was really awesome.  I think he realized there was a good chance of him dying...and he wanted Little Brother to know he was a good guy deep down.  Schnikees - I thought - for a minute, tonight - that Merle and Carol were developing a little understanding.  I was kindof hoping for a neat, little triangle between them and Daryl...but it was not to be.

Ummm...did anyone notice that we haven't seen Andrea since the governor tied her up in the house of horrors?  Holy crap - the thought of being tortured by that asshat is almost scarier than getting eatin' by a walker.

Glenn and Maggie are engaged.  Zzzzzz.  Don't get me wrong - they're cute and I like them both...but we're in the middle of the greatest storyline in weeks and you stop to show us the proposal-that-wasn't-really-a-proposal?  With a ring from a walker?!  And is it me, or was that so entirely gnarly when he cut off that poor walker chickie's finger?  Geez - tonight I watched Michonne stomp on some dude's head and squash it like a watermelon.  Yet seeing that woman's finger cut off was ten times worse.

Well at least we're not being subjected to Andrea trying to be the go between and get all the boys and girls to play nicely anymore.  Yawn.  That was pretty boring, too.

And for the love of all that's holy - Lori showed up AGAIN tonight??  WTF?!  Get RID of her dead ass already, man!  Or, at least, if you're going to bring back someone for hallucinations, make it Shane for god's sake!  Not Lori.  Even in death she's got that bitchy, condescending look about her.  It's really annoying - just like her.

OMG tonight was a great episode as far as walkers go.  It's about time we get back to the WALKERS being the scary part of the show and not the stupid governor.   And I hope it's not anticlimactic when they kill him on next week's finale (c'mon, you know they're gonna) like it was with that gross psycho on Boardwalk Empire this season.  You'd have thought they'd make his death slow and painful but nooooo... they just shoot him - and that's that.

But I digress.  Bottom line - I want pain and suffering or the governor.  Does that make me a bad person?

The Walking Dead: Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K

SPOILER ALERT:  I have 3 eps to go on season 3 of The Walking Dead.

W...TF?!?  Ya know...The Walking Dead is pissing me off.  WHAT have they done to the feel of the show?  Where is the FEAR?!  Where is the constant worry about WALKERS?!  I don't give a rat's ASS about the stupid governor and his annoying people.   The SCARY part about this show was the fact that you could die - by a crazed zombie - at any moment.  It seems to me that that feeling is long gone.  

Remember when they used to be afraid to use their guns because the gunshot sound would attract a ton of walkers?  HELL - remember when they used to have to deal with HERDS?!  THAT was some scary-assed SHIT.  But not now.  Now we just have to sit there - twiddling our thumbs - and listening to Rick and the Governor exchange pleasantries.  Zzzzzz.  For the love of all that's holy...if you're going to make me sit through that, at least fix up Rick's hair a bit and give us more close-ups of his eyes or something...GEEZ. 

By the way - again - watching The Talking Dead on AMC post-Walking Dead and damn does this show crack me up.  I love when they give you slow-mo of all the zombies who died close-up and personal on tonight's episode.  

OK back to the grind.  WHAT is with ANDREA?!?  Girlfriend has gone and lost her DAMN mind.  Is she with the governor?  (Ew, gross.)  Is she with Rick-and-the-Gang?  WHO the frig is Andrea rooting for?  Ya know, there was a day when she was FIERCE.  Not anymore.  It's like she hid in Michonne's shadow for a while and now she's this little shell of what Andrea once was.  So sad.  I don't really give a shit WHAT she does from here on out.  Just don't eff things up for Rick now that he's gotten over seeing Lori in a nightgown every five seconds. 

And speaking of Michonne - I love her.  That is all.  The governor best step OFF.  

Glenn and Maggie.  More zzzz.  I really miss the old Glenn.  He was happy go lucky and fun and made everyone laugh.  He wasn't this ridiculous badass-acting dude.  Geez - go hack into the state department's computers or something, would ya, man?  I'm starting to like MERLE better than Glenn at this point. 

OK that's all for now.  OH yeah - PS - When are Carol and Daryl going to hook up?  ("A girl named Carol followed Daryl every gig we played..."). 

ANOTHER PS - Andrea's going to kill the Governor.  Make no mistake.  Girlfriend is going to step up and take responsibility and get it done.  Just watch.  

HAWK is HAWT!!!!

WOOT!!!  THIS just in from Kristen Ashley:

Welp... here it is! GCP's new cover for Mystery Man, due out in print in August. Seriously... when they showed me this, I got a little tingle. Okay, maybe a big tingle. HAWK! HAWT! 

Rock on!

The Walking Dead Season 3: Clear

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up on season 3 of The Walking Dead and just finished the most recent episode called "Clear". 

HOLY CRAP!!!  WHAT an episode!!!  I don't even know what to think!  First off - I dig Michonne.  I have since Day 1 when she showed up with those armless walkers on a chain.  (WHAT a fashion statement, right?!)  They NEED Michonne.  Rick is just jealous because she's more of a badass than he.  He could LEARN a few things from her.  And he KNOWS it.  She is such an asset to this group of people...they are absolutely nuts if they don't keep her around.

And she keeps walkers on a chain!  Who doesn't love that?!

OMG MORGAN.  I am so devastated over what he's become.  He's like Sisyphus!  He just keeps rolling that boulder up the hill and it keeps rolling back down on him.  WHY didn't Rick tie him up and MAKE him come with them?!?  I don't go for this "he's resigned to his own fate" bullcrap.  RICK could have easily become that.  EVERYONE deserves a chance at living.  MAKE him try, for God's sake!

OK.  Backpack Guy.  Wow.  Just...wow.  When they SAW his remains at the end and then TOOK his backpack???  I was SO PISSED.  They have LOST their humanity!!! ALL of them!!  WHY didn't they pick him up?!?  I get it - I really do.  Survival of the fittest...we can't take care of everyone...yada yada yada.  But still.  That guy was alone.  He didn't have a huge group with him...they could have at least picked him up and dropped him somewhere.

Do you think it was a play on that whole "Never pick up a hitchhiker" thing?  

Loved when Michonne helped Carl and did it in such a way that he was able to hang on to his little 11 year old dignity.  It was cool.  SHE is cool.  Rick better tell everyone to accept her when they get back to Home Sweet Penitentiary Home.

Watching The Talking Dead on AMC.  It's fantastic.  I was born to be on a show like this.  It's like a frickin' blog on tv.  Love.

The Walking Dead - Season 3, Episode 9

SPOILER ALERT:  I just watched Episode 9 in Season 3. 

All y'all had no idea I could
look this fly, now...did ya? 

WHERE is Daryl going??  How can they let him go?  Why don't they lock Merle up in a cell???  OMG Carol is SO UPSET.  (And so is the the chick on the show!)  ;)

(cue Run DMC beat)  "A girl named Carol followed Daryl every gig we played.  Then D kissed her and dismissed her, now she's jockin' Jay."

Don't the writers know how hot we all think Daryl is now that we get daily photo updates on the Hardcore Daryl Dixon Fans page on Facebook??

Meanwhile, Merle is so deliciously trashy and disgusting.  They are really missing out by NOT bringing him and his sick banter to the prison.  I hope this gets rectified sooon.

Buy this very cool Glenn print
from Vlad Rodriguez HERE. 

Glen's a badass...and I think I LIKE it!  He is not taking any shite from aaaaanybody.  Wind him up and watch him go!

OMG does anyone want to listen to Andrea bitch at the Gubner?  NO.  Shut UP girl!  Just go home to the prison or whatEVER but don't beotch up a storm; it's getting old.

I love how these dumbass townspeople are bitching about the Governer.  "Waaah...waaaah...He shot Richard!"  Um...duh.  Of COURSE he shot Richard.  Richard was going to EAT you, you dingbat.

Oh Lorddddddddd...and now Andrea's bitching at the townspeople.  What's that?  Do I hear Kumbayah playing in the background?  Oh, no...that's just in my head.

I love these new people.  WHY is Rick being such a douche?

Rick: "I can't be responsible."
Dude: "You turn us out; you ARE responsible."

Ohhhh...that's why Rick's being such a douche.  He sees dead people!  I forgot.

Once Upon a Time: What a Hook Up!

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up in season 2 of Once Upon a Time. 

Dear Hook, you're hot.  Love, Carol

WHEN are they going to make this guy someone's love interest??  It's just completely wrong that we have to look at him every week and know that all he's going to do is be a prick and skulk around on his invisible boat.

And does anyone really care that Rumple killed his wife by ripping out her heart?  I don't.  It was pretty black and skanky and needed some spring cleaning. Oops.  Can't put it back.  Oh well.

And how about Mulan?  Wow she's such a bitch!  And that's right, sister...Belle can kill the snot out of those weird Ghost Busters-looking gatekeeper beasts and you can't!  So step OFF.

And bam!  There goes Rumple over the line but Hook, that beast, shoots Belle...and now she has no memory (I think?)  And that car from Pennsylvania hit Hook!  (LOL After growing up in PA, I found that slightly amusing.)  Maybe he'll HOOK up with one of the nurses.  Pun intended.

American Horror Story: Best. Episode. Ever!!!

SO MUCH STUFF to catch up on!!!

American Horror Story - the greatest episode EVER was on last week.  When they started dancing to the Name Game song, I thought I'd plotz right there on the couch.  Not only did Evan Peters dance...but he also smiled...which is not an often occurrence with that dude.

OMG how about Sister Mary Eunice rollin' on into the incinerator with Dr. Nazi Freak on top of her?!?  (James Cromwell is a god.)  Was that not one of the single most amazing shots EVER in the history of television shots?!?  I did NOT see that coming at all.

Predictions:  EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE.  LOL  Assuming the journalist is going to make it out since she gives birth to that train wreck, Dylan McDermott.  But what about Jude?  I love her.  I've loved her since Day 1 and I love her now.  Nun...ho...patient...it does...not...matter!  Jessica Lange just exudes cool!

That scary assed Doctor Psychopath  - aka Zachary Quinto - is so juicy this season, I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time they show his face, my skin crawls.  It's so ingenius to take the guy who brought you comfort during half the season and make him into the most frightening character on the show.  I think he's going to die a horrible death; I just don't know how it's going to go down.

Father Not-A-Virgin?  OMG I knew Joe Fiennes would be fantastic - and he is all that and more.  The man has absolutely mastered the art of being over-the-top in so many roles.  This...Flash Forward ("There's gonna be another blackout!!!)...Camelot....he's always above and beyond with the emotions...which is sick fun to watch.  I am almost hoping he gets romantic with poor, brain-zapped Sister Jude...before someone kills them both, take them into the woods and feed them to Mark Consuelos.

10PM tonight, y'all!!  Get ready!!

Hopelessly Finished Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT:  I have finished Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

Wow.  I am exhausted from reading this book.  I feel like I need a shower and about 8 hours of solid, mindless TV to wash it all away.

I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.  I'm a bit confused at all the 5 star ratings and wonder if all the bloggers in the acknowledgments are really giving their honest opinion?

Why only 3 stars?  Certainly not because of Colleen Hoover's writing; I enjoyed that immensely.  And not because of her characters; I found them to be well thought-out and likable.  Holder is a character you want to spend time with...although he gets a little too sweet toward the end and doesn't seem as real.  Sky is just like so many of us who question ourselves and those around us...but don't necessarily want to know the answers.  She's very endearing in that way.

So what's my deal?  Well...I felt like it was two different stories; two different books.  The first half is laden with googley eyes about each other when you're in high school.  Don't get me wrong - I usually enjoy the sappy first love stuff...but it's a slippery slope.  You can overdo it and end up rubbing your readers the wrong way.  (Pun intended; nice grinding scene!  Wow.)  I liked the angst when it came to things like Holder getting upset over the bracelet...or leaving her house and not coming back...etc etc...but then things would seem to draw out a bit too long and I'd start losing interest until the next crisis.

One absolute joy in this book?  Breckin.  More, more, give me more.  I'd like a series just about him.  I totally want to go back to high school and look for the guy wearing bright pink shoes.  Only I went to Catholic school and you got demerits for that sort of thing.  I should know, I once got demerits for wearing a yellow sweater in homeroom.  But I digress.

OK - so - on to the 2nd half (or last third, I should say).  All the sudden you find yourself on this roller coaster ride and it's truly compelling...but you're thinking "Wait - wasn't I reading a lovely little story about young love?  How does child rape fit into this?"  And don't get me wrong - the last 3rd is truly interesting and riveting and upsetting...all at once.  All things that make for an outstanding story.  But I felt like I was a bit shell shocked and had a hard time switching gears.

Now...please don't misunderstand me.  I think Colleen Hoover is a damn good writer in that she's perfectly worded (no bad comparisons of someone's eyes to a rooftop...lordddddd) and her words flow exceptionally well.  I am looking forward to reading her New York Times Bestsellers, "Slammed " and "Point of Retreat " (aka girlfriend knows what she's doing.)

So - my overall synopsis?  I wish Hopeless were two books.  That way, I could recommend the first to my nieces in high school...and the 2nd to my book club.  If I had a book club, that is.  I used to, but I left because they only read horribly sad stories about things like child rape.  So you get my drift.  Maybe I just didn't like the subject matter of the last third of the story - even though it was thoroughly engaging and told with an abundance of tact and grace.

Really looking forward to a (friendly) discussion on this...so by all means, comment away!!

Hope + Less = Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT: I am 5 pages into Oct 27th at 8:20 PM in HOPELESS.

Holy CRAP. This book has gotten interesting. Homeboy says "I love you, Hope" and Sky just called him out on it. And he's blatantly LYING to her by saying he never dated anyone named Hope because the color just drained out of his face when she said the name and he kindof freaked for a second about it. SHIT. WHAT is his damage???

And now I'm starting to wonder about the tattoo. HOPEless. Like he's without HOPE. As in a chickski...and not just the feeling. Shit, shit, shit. I am terrified for Sky right now. Especially after the freak out in the beginning of the book. Shit shit shit!

And I know we're going to find out she was abused...and the whole story about her mom dying and her dad not being able to take care of her is a big, ol' LIE. I bet Karen really IS her mom and she had to kick the dad out. But who gave her the bracelet???

And I have this horrendous fear nagging at me...like we're going to find out she and Holder are related or something. Just like that Matt Dillon movie where they found out they were brother and sister...but they really weren't. UGH. Now THAT is some serious angst.

And I agree with Hildy. I think Karen's against the internet / phone / tv for a reason. Like she's in hiding with her daughter. But why would she leave her alone when she goes to flea markets? So that throws a wrench in my elaboration of Hildy's theory.
Crap! Gotta go read!!!

PS - Wait. Holder's got this thing about the word "hope". Maybe that's how he thinks of Sky? As his "hope" that's coming back? So maybe he was telling SKY he loved her?

OK no more theories. I have to KNOW!!!

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