The Walking Dead: I Don't Think We're in Leavenworth Anymore

Ya know...sometimes you’re just not in the mood for the way your stomach feels when you watch this show.   YeeUCK.  Do we really need the doc’s leg just lyin’ there, staring at us?  Blech. If I were those people in the cafeteria, I’d be like “Um, thanks for that.  ‘Preciate it!’ 

OH SHIT! THEY’RE PRISONERS!!

Oh this is not going to end well. 

And the main dude is scary...and kinda looks like the car-parkin’ joyrider in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 

Oh my god - this is nuts.  The guys are trying to take over Cellblock H so the prisoners can live there...and now poor Big Tiny is now Big Deady.  Which TICKS me off because he was a nice guy!  

WHOOOOOAAAA!!  DOC just friggin came back to life.  That was freaky as hell.  Lori was almost lunch!

And whoa...does Rick just loathe Lori, or what?  What did he say at the end?  “We all appreciate what you did today”?  Or something to that effect.  OUCH.  He might as well have said “thanks so much...what’s your name again?”   

And how about Cowboy Carl roping up walkers at the rodeo jail?  WHAT is with that kid??  Although, I have to admit, I thought Lori was a little hard on him when he came back with Doc Baker’s bag full of medical supplies.  Geez, lady...how’s about giving him a hug and having a stern talking-to a little later when no one is around?  Do you want to emasculate him as much as you have emasculated Rick over the years??

Man...that episode was tremendous...albeit gory.  Last night truly made me feel sick to my stomach.  Sheesh - must we see all the carnage?  And is it carnage if they’re already dead?  Ponder that a while, will you...

Once Upon a Time: Sailing the High Seas of Hotness

OOOfah!  Rumple is finding out Mila is dead.  Dang...this isn’t going to be pretty.  WHAT  a beotch, by the way.  She loves her son enough not to stay in the bar...but not enough to stay in her own life.  I hate selfish people.  

Oooh sweet fight scene between Rumple and Captain Hook.  Who, incidentally, must be about to get in a position to need a hook. 

LOL  Charming is cracking me up.  Every time you turn around, he just interrupts and says “I won’t let anything happen to her”.  

HOLY SHIT!! BELLE JUST TOOK OFF IN A TRAIN CAR LIKE JEM (Outlander reference for those of you who are wondering what in the name of all that’s holy I’m talking about).  That ruled!  

OH my god  - did you see the scenes for next week?!?  Never-aging Barbara Hershey is going to bring back Regina’s boy toy!  OutSTANDing!!!

Vampire Diaries: Is This Vampire Diaries or "A Very Special Brady Bunch?"

WTF?!  Can someone please tell me what in hell has happened to the Vampire Diaries?!  Everyone is frolicking around, hunting bad guys like those meddling kids in the Mystery Van...and not feeding on people or at least being badass like vampires are SUPPOSED to.  

Um Stefan - is there some reason you’re forcing Elena to kill Bambie and not let her run around and be a “bad guy” like she’s supposed to?  I just asked Tom if he thought Stefan was going to take Elena flower picking soon.  This is too much to bear.  It’s like this huge, dorky town full of Cullens!  The only thing keeping my sanity right now is Damon.  Thank golly for a real, old-fashioned blood sucker. 

OK now waitttt a minute...waittt a minute...Elena’s at the pulpit...about to become a pile of goo...oh wait, that’s True Blood.  OH yeah.  Stefan just came to her rescue as we’re turning to page 42 in our hymn books.  

Oh em GEE - how about Elena giving Matty a vampirific church hicky!  WOWsa.  

Oh but nevermind Tyler getting shot or the invisatattoo on the minty, bad dude at the bar...because Stefan is too busy giving Elena whisky - straight - out of a lovely intricately-cut Waterford glass.  Gosh, if I had a dime for every highschooler I knew who did that...

Oh SHIT NO.  Did y’all see Stefan hand out Japanese lanterns so they can properly grieve the Council?!?  Has everyone just gone totally outer limits?!?  Gotta love them all saying “this is for Vicky...this is for Alaric...”  I’d be like “This is for Stefan’s coolness” because CLEARLY it died with all the others.  Way to GO DAMON for saying NO to all this cutsie horseshit!!!

Lorddddddd...one thing to say in closing: 

ALARIC IS HOT!!!!!!!

Walking Dead: OMG I Forgot How Disgusting These Walkers Really Are

Oh SHIT!  The “starting” just started and it’s already effing TERRIFYING!

When are we going to find out about the hooded dude with the seemingly trained, armless walkers?!

Oh Em Gee.  They just picked off all the walkers around the jail and are planning on setting up camp inside.  DAMN.  Watching this show is like playing Space Invaders.  There is always someone coming at you!  I just heard myself yell “BEHIND YOU” while I was watching.  It’s TV folks!  WTF is my problem?!?

OMG (could I say OMG one more time?)  They are camped out outside the prison.  Dang.  That place could be awesome.  And as Daryl says, it probably has “plumbery”.  LOL  Oh shit - they’re breaking in the fence so they can try and go inside.  Yowsa.  I can’t watch!

LOL!  “I ain’t sleepin’ in the cage...I’ll take the perch.”  DOH!  So I guess Daryl’s done some time.  Not that that should surprise anyone.   

Meanwhile, it’s really freaky to think about how psyched they are to have a JAIL CELL to sleep in, right?!  The bars lock and they’ve got theyselves a BED, y’all.  Wowee!  I’d be tickled pink!  And how ridiculous is that??

Oh SCHNIKIES!!!  Papa Vet just got bitten...and Rick just hacked his leg off at the knee!  Since when does THAT work?!  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.  OMG It was so sceevy when the walker bit him...he was yanking out ligaments with his teeth.  YUCK.  And there are doctors alive!  Well, I think they were doctors.  They looked like they were in scrubs. 

Oooh snap.  Can’t WAIT for next week!!

PS - I’m trying out new Comments programs.  Please bear with me!

Once Upon a Time: Could They Make Me Cry Any More in this Episode?

OH my god, the tears have been falling down my face for the entire hour this has been on!!!

The nursery...sigh...wasn’t it so pretty?  I am so horrendously sad for Snow.  She didn’t deserve this!  Even with her ridiculously overacted one-liners!  “Get away from my daughter!”  LOL  Did you not laugh when she yelled that?  My hubster was in hysterics!

OK wait - so once again - do you not love Aurora, even in all her bitchiness?  She’s like a big, ol’ ball o’ PMS.  And I love her!  And she’s starting to soften a bit, too...you can tell.

And Henry.  He’s so cute and so elf-like at the same time.  And WHY do I feel bad for Regina?!

And Lancelot.  Whoooo wee.  He’s a cutie PIE...even though he doesn’t scream “Lancelot”.  And I don’t think he’s dead, either.  I think Barbara Hershey lied.  He seems too official to be dead.  And who knows, maybe Barbara’s brain got a little messed up during her last surgery.  Holy SHIT - did you SEE her face?!  She looks younger than Emma!!  That’s nutsky!

Oh and how about the Mad Hatter finding his daughter!!! That is one of the storylines that grabbed me from Day 1.  I’m so excited for him!!  He’s such a good actor, too.

OK gots to go - The Walking Dead is coming on!  That’s Numero Uno in the line-up!!!

Once Upon a Time: Um, Are We Ever Going Back To La La Land?

OK seriously...I need to blog WHILE I watch...because now it’s Saturday and a whole week has gone by and I can’t remember shizzle. 

What the hell happened last week?  Oh yeah - We got to see the softer side of Regina!  Like Sears!  She drives me nuts because I hate her...but I feel bad for her.  Something tells me she is going to get nice by the end of the season...and then go back to being a douche after that.   Let’s face it - she can’t be too nice...cuz there goes the show, right?!

OK what else?  Oh yeah - Emma and Snow in La La Land.  I wonder if they’re going to find out where they are.  And OMG do you not love that Sarah Bolger (aka Lady Mary Tudor) is on this show?  She is pure class.  Love her. 

What are they going to do with Regina’s mother?  She’s going to be evil, no doubt.  Wonder if she’ll help Emma and Snow escape.  

OK not much to say...kindof boring.  Still love Rumple.  I just hang on Robert Carlyle’s every wared ie word.  He’s so hot and Scottish.  And if it’s not Scottish, it’s crap. 

Once Upon a Time: I Don't Think We're in Storybrook Anymore, Toto

UM...How do I put this delicately?  HOLY MAD HAT, BATMAN!

Can you believe they all went trottin’ down into that hole like Alice?!?  That was nutter butters!  And now are we going to have to spend the rest of the season waiting for Snow and Emma to return??  I wish that kid went with them; he gets on my nerves.  And I wish Charming went with them and came back as actual CHARMING.  Because whats-his-name from real life annoys me, too.  Just take your huge, unlaced Timberlands and go back to the land of make believe where you belong (and where - for some strange reason - you’re way hotter.) 

Emma rocks.  I LOVE that she’s all “Um...yeah...we’re not exactly heading to brunch and celebrating Mother’s Day yet, OK Snow?  So just take your cute hair and your lovable ears and back it way the frig out of my bizznazz.”  

And you know what else I HAVE to say?  I love the Queen.  Is there something wrong with me?  Seriously.  Cuz I do.  Even her VOICE is cool.  And she’s evil - so that’s bad, right?  Except I feel bad for her when they start that backstory about her true love being murdered by her bitchy mom.  I wish someone could turn her.  But then we’d have no show, right? 

OK - so - Robert Carlyle.  Why do I want to have this man’s babies?  I mean Lorddddddddddd look at his teeth.  Geez - if there ever was a poster child for Britain having a bad Dental system, I'm sorry to say, it is him.  (I’m totes kidding, btw...I have zero clue what the British Dental system is like and am just having fun with that old, stereotypical, bad joke.) 

OK anyway - Rumps.  The Stiltz man.  Mmmm Hmmm.  Ever since the days of him stripping with Tom Wilkinson and that pleasantly plump dude from that sitcom with Jamie Gertz who had a horrendous American accent - I have loved him.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE his Scots accent.  Holy crap.  He is another one like Gerard Butler who should never be allowed - by law and holy proclamation - to use anything but his Scots accent.  And what’s with Belle being Australian?  They seem to take a lot of license with that show.  (Seen Sir Lancelot on the coming attractions?!  That shiz is FINE - but just doesn’t match up to the Lancelot in my head!)  NOT that I don’t love Emilie de Ravin.  I do - and she’s perfect for that part, too.  Except for her Australian accent.  It’s distracting.  I mean - listen to Sarah Bolger!  Her American accent is fabu - and we all know she’s Irish yet sounded very British as her role as The Lady Mary in The Tudors.  Not to be confused with that other “Lady Mary” who I can’t WAIT to start blogging about as soon as Downton Abbey airs here in the US. 

OK onward.  I think I covered mostly everything.  The premiere certainly delivered - did it not??  Wowsa.  Very exciting and I’m looking forward to next week!  Unless Snow continues to badger Emma about the mom crap because that could get annoying. 

Here Comes "Once Upon a Time"

I had ZERO idea “Once Upon a Time” was starting this weekend and I also had no idea I’d care so much! Just WAIT until they get their hands on the evil queen! Ooooh Lordddddddddd it’s gonna be one hell of a show. And here’s my question: Are they now going to look the same way they did in the past? Is Snow White going to look like Snow White or Mary Margaret? And what’s going to happen to Emma? Is she going to be all “Yo - you’re my mamma now! Wanna get a pizza?” That was one long, strange trip she was on in the finale...I’m glad she’s out from under the clock tower and hangin’ with Henry in le Hospitale.

Can’t WAIT for Sunday...although I can’t help thinking “this better be good”. Everything comes at a price!

 PS - I’ve been watching Boardwalk Empire for two weeks and am somewhat “meh” at the moment...but I’m sure it will pick up as we go along. That’s another entry.

Fun in Fairfax

Waiting in line to see Diana Gabaldon! Left to right: Tonya, Pocket Jamie, Lara and Donna! :)