Friday, February 7, 2014

Reign: Has Everyone Just Gone Total Outer Limits?

SPOILER ALERT:  The following is about episode 11 from season 1 of Reign. 

Who are these people who came to defend Catherine?  Does anyone know?  They're her family?  The Medici?  What is that, like the Voturi???

"We'll bitch slap Catherine
if her Medici family won't
."
They kindof remind me of the villain family on the Superman with Christopher Reeve.  Or even the gang from The Matrix.  I know, right?  I'm certifiably cray cray.

OK I almost fell off the couch when the king was raking Kenna over the coals about Catherine and Nostradamus...and Queen Cat said "Off with you child. You've killed me enough for one day."  She's SO wickedly intelligent!  She always knows what everyone's up to. And she doesn't even seem that sneaky about it!  She just...knows!

Viscount who??  She exiled him for calling her an Italian horse?  No, wait...an Italian Mule?  Huh?  I hate when they just gloss over this stuff and make it sound so trivial...when we know it's going to rear its ugly head in the future and be a big, hairy deal.

Can someone please explain how and why Nostradamus is alive?  I thought Miss Potato Sack Head killed him with the knife that was hidden in the doll?  WTF?  And WHO put the knife into the doll?  Did we ever figure that out?

Clarissa wants to be Mary's defender.  OH MY GOD I think she's Catherine's DAUGHTER?!?  HOLY SHIT!!!  Now THAT'S some good WRITING!!!

Ooooh SNAP!!!  Henry and Catherine are together at last!!!  Sucking face!  I love it!!!!!  They should do this EVERY week!!  I rather like them together!  What a force to be reckoned with!  Much too tough for France!  (Sorry French buds; just being a wiseass.  I love you guys.  Any country that eats cheese and pastry for breakfast is my kind of place.)

See?  Knew it would come back huge.  This dude is Catherine's boyfriend who let himself be exiled to hide their secret...AND she had baby potato mask head WITH him.  Shaving his face to expose the birthmark was a nice touch, Henry.  Well played, my lord...well played.

OH MY GOD.  Holy SHIT! Everyone is pissed at Catherine!  Even her scary assed Superman villainesque family!  I love how they're all "You suck.  And not because you suck, but because you don't suck, so therefore, you suck."

Oh Mary - STFU.  You caused all of this.  I wish Catherine really did poison you.  You are everyone's darling and you leave a ton of casualties in your wake.  I'm fed the hell UP with you at this point, beotch.

Uh oh - here come the scenes for next week February 27th:



"I am way better looking than her."
"I'll have what he's wearing.
And can someone do my hair?"
OMG did you see that???  WTF is up with HALF A FACE?!  It's like Boardwalk Empire meets Reign!!  OMG that mask makes Richard Harrow look like he had a little eyebrow session at Neimans!  That shit is scary as f^%k!  She looks like a doll on Supernatural!!!!!


And you know what???  While I'm in a cursing mood:

WHERE THE F%$& IS FRANCIS?!?!?!?

Ya know...I love this show.  I watch every week...and it has really evolved and matured as the weeks have gone by.  They are bringing in more characters, and the storylines are getting more complex.  There are a million ways they could go and it's fun to watch it all unfold.

But honestly...this is NOT the show I signed up for.  WHERE IS FRANCIS? FRANCIS IS the show!  And he's nowhere to be found!  And he's not on the scenes for next week, either!  So will that be the third week in a row with no Francis?!  Or are they going to zing us and bring him back just in the nick of time??

And does Mary even CARE???  THAT is what bothers me the MOST.  She screwed him over - and he LEFT HIS OWN HOME - and LOST HIS CROWN - and she's just sashaying herself around the castle like she OWNS THE PLACE!!!  I get that she needs to save Scotland, but what about HIS country???  What about saving HIS crown??

And you know what else?  Does she not miss him, even a little?  Does she have no remorse for the
fact that she's about to MARRY his brother who he grew up with and loves???

Ya know...we suffered through 8 WEEKS of CAT AND MOUSE between Francis and Mary before they finally consummated the relationship and told each other they loved each other.  And what happens next?  Francis is gone and she's telling BASH she's open to loving him!!!  WHAT A FRIGGIN HO!!!!  No sooner out of one's bed and working her way into another!!!  It's maddening!!  What about Francis?!  You loved him with your whole heart and soul just 2 days ago!!

I am not happy.  Nope.  Not at all.

(Can't WAIT for 2/27!)  :)





2 comments:

elaheh said...

hey i read this and it was fricking awesome its like you are reading my mind i wish i could talk to you

Carol said...

Thanks! Come discuss over at My Purgatory on Facebook! :)