Thursday, January 30, 2014

Vampire Diaries: Goodbye to You

SPOILER ALERT:  The following are my thoughts whilst watching episode 11, "500 Years of Solitude."

Wanna shag me gone?
KLAUS!!! OH MY GOD! He's here!  With Caroline!!! In the woods!  Didn't see THAT one coming!!!

"In a shocking twist, Katherine's daughter's a psychopath."  ROFLMAO!  Damon is so friggin' funny, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'd like a book of nothing but Damon's one-liners.  Think someone can make that happen over at the CW?  Let me know.  Thanks.

WOW Klaus and Caroline getting BUSY in the woods!  This is outSTANDing!!!  I've wanted these two together since his hot, douchey ass first told her he dug her.  I love the angst, too.  "Ummm...OK so I'm going to give you the bestest, hottest, up-against-a-tree sex that you've ever had....and then you're never going to see me again, mmmkayyyy?  Great."

Shiz - is Katherine really dying?? Seriously?  C'mon now.  She's one of my favorite characters.  Her bitchiness just rounds out Elena's whineyness soooo nicely.

"Get out, Elena."  I just said that.  *I* did.  Me.  On my couch.  That just popped right the hell out m'mouth.  OUT LOUD.  Just take your skinny, immature ass right back out the door and let Katherine die with a shred of dignity, please.  We all know you're perfect and she's the devil.  Got it.  Now go.
I'm not giving blood!
Just stick it in my arm!  
Ummm...OK so when did Elena become a phlebotomist?  Oh right...it was only a shot.  She's just so good at so many things...it's hard to keep track!  What's next?  Astro-Physicist?

Oh SNAP...Katherine's Elena!!  NICE!!  Didn't see THAT one coming, either! (Seems to be the phrase of the night!)  OK so it looks like SOMEbody's been watching Once Upon a Time and wanted to try out the old person-switcheroo.  THIS is tasty as hell as storylines go.  Think about it.  Elena's going to come close to being buried...and Katherine's going to go schtup the shit out of Damon.  I think I LOVE this!!  Wait - maybe she'll dump Damon and hook up with Stefan again (because we all know he'd be slightly more AWESOME in bed than Damon.)  ;)

And lastly...Stefan.  I'm sorry...but I can't stand watching him be all nice to Damon about Elena.  Um, EW!  He totally got the short end of that relationship stick.  Or did he?  Actually - he made out pretty well as he's NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH ELENA'S WHINING ANYMORE!!!

OMG and how about all the dead people showing up in this episode???  ALARIC!!!

Be still my heart!!!  It was like being blinded by a thousand rising suns.  (Yes.  I do love Alaric and my life would be more COMPLETE if the CW didn't feel the need to OFF HIM.)  ;)

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