Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Game of Thrones: Translator, Please

Spoiler Alert:  I am caught up with HBO on Game of Thrones.  

OMG it's getting HAIRY.  My friend Shannon called this AM and said "Did you see Game of Thrones?  I'm confused!"  and I said "Helllll yeah; I am, too!"  LOL

Seriously - the secondary characters and storylines are getting a little hard to follow without pie charts, bar graphs and the ever-famous Game of Thrones Character Wiki.  But that's OK because it's so good, I cannot contain myself!

If you think for one minute that Khaleesi is giving away that dragon, I've got a bridge to sell you in Siberia.  (That is soooo not the way it goes, but work with me here.)  Shannon thinks that dragon is going to fly back to her...and I tend to agree.  Or she's got something else up her sleeve.  But what crazy-assed, Dothraki-speaking, unnaturally blonde bitch runs around waxing on about her dragons for an entire season...and then SELLS one?  Aint-go'-happen, y'all.  She's plotting...and I'm giggling.

Onward.  Tyrion, my love, what have they done to you??  Your poor face.  It makes me cry.  And your self-confidence seems to be wavering in the shadow of your ASSHOLE, possibly non-paternal father.  But you did well with pulling the chair to the head of the table (always one step ahead of Cersei).  Now we've just got to get you back with that sweet, little hooka you shack up with and send you on your way...AWAY from these horrible people who keep you DOWN in life.  And to the ever awesome Peter Dinklage, I say  "WHAT'S UP JERSEY BOY???"  (Always have to remind everyone he's "from Jersey" and not some town in England with a "shire" on the end.)

And that sweet little hooka is protecting Sansa, thank GOD.  That poor girl.  I've wanted her out of that craphole kingdom ever since SATAN showed her her father's head on a stick.  And might I ask...has anyone ever noticed how incredibly odd-looking striking Joffrey is??  He's played by a 21 year old named Jack Gleeson.  How'd you like the be the guy who was purposely hired because you look off-putting striking in order to look realistic whilst playing the son of a brother/sister team??  And if you google him, you'll find the photographers/make-up artists/designers/etc play up his strange features strikingness wonderfully.  Just look at that GQ creep show!!!

Last but not least (for today; I could go on all night about this show) OMG JAIME LANNISTER'S HAND!  WTF??? That was SICK!!!!  And I am so afraid of what is going to happen to Sasquatch.  They clearly have zero respect for human life OR dignity.  They might be even worse to her now that Jaime mouthed off.  And now Cersei isn't going to want him anymore, now that he can't fight big, bad...uhhh...bad guys with his sword.  Maybe Arya Stark will teach him to fight left handed.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Walking Dead Finale: Um...OK?

SPOILER ALERT:  I have now finished Season 3 of The Walking Dead. 

Add a Brady Bunch tune to 
this graphic and you pretty
much have the end of season 3.
Um, could someone tell me WTF I just watched?  They ENDED the season with joyful music and a close-up of a cross?  (Whose was that, by the way?)

Where's the big cliff hanger?  Where's the angst?!  They finished EVERYTHING and tied it all up in a pretty pink bow!  WTF is up with that?!  They should've dragged out the Andrea scene into next season.  (Totally bummed that she's dead, by the way.  I loved her.  Although she didn't have much of a place in either camp this season; I should've expected it.)

Dad, did you steal another
one of my Bud Lights?
I want it back.  GO!!
OK so let's talk Carl.  Lordddddddddddd the ever-annoying Carl.  I can't STAND when kids think uncle" and throws that stupid cowboy hat across the walker-laden fields like an extreme frisbee.  HOW funny was it when he saw all those people get off the makeshift school bus (it was like the anti-Partridge bus from hell) and was obviously soooo mad?!  I cheered!  Rick was all "you killed one kid and I saved like 20, dumbass" with his eyes.  It ruled.  As much as I love Rick, that's how much I can't stand Carl.  Lori's kid, through and through.
they're adults.  That kid annoys me so much, I want to grab his cute little nose and twist it until he yells "

Not enough Daryl tonight.  LOVED when Carol got all badass and killed that walker when Glenn and Maggie were closing the gate.  It was like "Whoa - where's Carol's mojo been all this time?!"

"Real life" shot, but
aren't they so cute?!
OMG Michonne.  Michonne, Michonne, Michonne.  I love her character so much.  She's SO stylish (I am the queen of wraps, so I dug tonight's ensem), she's so pretty and she's SUCH A FRIGGIN BADASS...I just want to hug her.  She doesn't even FLINCH when she kills those walkers.  And how about her reunion with Andrea?  OMG I was so sad.  And she refused to leave her.  Did you catch the irony in that?  Andrea left Michonne.  I just LOVE THIS SHOW.

So sad we have another 6 months until it's back.  What will I do until then?  I woke up dreaming about walkers this AM and I hadn't even seen the show in two weeks!  I am already in withdrawal!  I'm running out of shows!  Somebody better bring Walter White or Jax Teller back soon or I'm going to lose my shizzle!!!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Natural Born Charmer: Withdrawal Much?!

I just finished Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

I cannot even think of starting another book as I am IMMERSED in the world of Dean and Blue.  And April, Jack, Riley...and most of all NITA.  I miss her sooo much.  She was my favorite character!  What a juicy bitch!  Yet, she was masking her soft side.  Just like Blue masked her soft side.  Just like April masked her soft side.  Just like Riley masked...just about everything.  I totally want that awesome kid to come live with me so I can buy her clothes and do her hair, but she's...um...fictional.  And seeing as my own 11 year old daughter isn't too keen on me doing her hair, I guess it's a good thing she's not real!

Seriously...I can't say enough about this book.  I loved the town. I LOVED the farm.  I want to MOVE there.  Holy crap, between April's spectacular renovations and the hilarity that goes on in that town?  NOT TO MENTION the hilarity between Dean and Blue?  OH my god I am in such withdrawal.

I have to send out a huge THANK YOU to JJ and Tonya, because they made me read this book.  And JJ is also a thousand percent correct in her assessment that this would make a fantastic screenplay.  I see this as a weekly TV series.  This town...these characters...they are just too good not to take to another level.  I can't get enough of them.

I have to admit though...I was reeling when Dean's friends showed up out of nowhere and he blew off Blue.  WTF?!?  Don't get me wrong - I understood him being blind-sided and not quite knowing what to do or say.  But when Blue went to the STORE FOR THAT BITCH, COURTNEY?!?  OH my god, I was so mad at her for doing that.  My ass would have walked out then and there.  I won't blame Dean, because I'm not sure he even know that happened, but still.  He left with them and apparently accepted Courtney as one of his many girlfriends for the day.  More WTF?!?  THAT was stepping WAY out of line.  I wished we'd have heard that he pulled her aside and set her straight (like he did with that bimbo at the end, thank god.)  I was literally shaking in my bed when I read that whole section.  I couldn't put it down because I could not even begin to think about sleeping after that.

Relationships I loved:

When Dean finally gave in and let himself become Riley's brother.  I was aching for this to happen.  Hell, I'd love a book about their relationship in the years to come.

Jack and Blue?  Priceless.  She was terrified of him and I could relate to that in a zillion ways.  My Jack Patriot is John Taylor from Duran Duran.  (I can hear you giggling across the country, Staci!)  When I first met him (yes, I said "first".  Groupie, much?), I figured I'd never get the chance to speak to him again (and had some serious beer guts working).  So I tapped him on the back to get his attention...and when he turned around, all I could manage was "Great show!"  GREAT SHOW?! Reminds me of Baby in Dirty Dancing.  "I carried a watermelon?!"  This was followed by a horrifically embarrassing interview at a Duran Duran gallery exhibit where I told the camera I couldn't believe the suit he wore in the Save a Prayer video was so..."orange"...knowing the video was for him.  Yes.  You read that right.  Fifty million times I've watched Save a Prayer, and that's all I can get out of my mouth?!?  Orange?!  OK - digression over.  Moving on...

Riley and Nita - OMG Nita made my heart bleed a few times.  And even though her compliments were half-assed and backhanded, I knew she meant well and was just as insecure as everyone else.  And I have to tell you, I'm a little upset that Jack left with April and Riley.  Poor Nita!  New housekeeper or not, she and Riley were great little friends.  I hope Riley visits every summer and Skypes with Nita.

Speaking of Nita...one person who instantly came to my mind to play her:  Dale Raoul who plays Maxine Fortenberry on True Blood.  I know she's much younger than the character, but I can't help it.  She plays such a tremendous southern, small-town BEOTCH on True Blood; I saw her immediately when Nita showed up in the diner and sat down with Blue and Riley.  Perhaps we can un-gnarl her knuckles just a wee bit?  :)

More casting tomorrow.  I'm going to be thinking about this in my sleep.