Natural Born Charmer: Withdrawal Much?!

I just finished Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

I cannot even think of starting another book as I am IMMERSED in the world of Dean and Blue.  And April, Jack, Riley...and most of all NITA.  I miss her sooo much.  She was my favorite character!  What a juicy bitch!  Yet, she was masking her soft side.  Just like Blue masked her soft side.  Just like April masked her soft side.  Just like Riley masked...just about everything.  I totally want that awesome kid to come live with me so I can buy her clothes and do her hair, but she'  And seeing as my own 11 year old daughter isn't too keen on me doing her hair, I guess it's a good thing she's not real!

Seriously...I can't say enough about this book.  I loved the town. I LOVED the farm.  I want to MOVE there.  Holy crap, between April's spectacular renovations and the hilarity that goes on in that town?  NOT TO MENTION the hilarity between Dean and Blue?  OH my god I am in such withdrawal.

I have to send out a huge THANK YOU to JJ and Tonya, because they made me read this book.  And JJ is also a thousand percent correct in her assessment that this would make a fantastic screenplay.  I see this as a weekly TV series.  This town...these characters...they are just too good not to take to another level.  I can't get enough of them.

I have to admit though...I was reeling when Dean's friends showed up out of nowhere and he blew off Blue.  WTF?!?  Don't get me wrong - I understood him being blind-sided and not quite knowing what to do or say.  But when Blue went to the STORE FOR THAT BITCH, COURTNEY?!?  OH my god, I was so mad at her for doing that.  My ass would have walked out then and there.  I won't blame Dean, because I'm not sure he even know that happened, but still.  He left with them and apparently accepted Courtney as one of his many girlfriends for the day.  More WTF?!?  THAT was stepping WAY out of line.  I wished we'd have heard that he pulled her aside and set her straight (like he did with that bimbo at the end, thank god.)  I was literally shaking in my bed when I read that whole section.  I couldn't put it down because I could not even begin to think about sleeping after that.

Relationships I loved:

When Dean finally gave in and let himself become Riley's brother.  I was aching for this to happen.  Hell, I'd love a book about their relationship in the years to come.

Jack and Blue?  Priceless.  She was terrified of him and I could relate to that in a zillion ways.  My Jack Patriot is John Taylor from Duran Duran.  (I can hear you giggling across the country, Staci!)  When I first met him (yes, I said "first".  Groupie, much?), I figured I'd never get the chance to speak to him again (and had some serious beer guts working).  So I tapped him on the back to get his attention...and when he turned around, all I could manage was "Great show!"  GREAT SHOW?! Reminds me of Baby in Dirty Dancing.  "I carried a watermelon?!"  This was followed by a horrifically embarrassing interview at a Duran Duran gallery exhibit where I told the camera I couldn't believe the suit he wore in the Save a Prayer video was so..."orange"...knowing the video was for him.  Yes.  You read that right.  Fifty million times I've watched Save a Prayer, and that's all I can get out of my mouth?!?  Orange?!  OK - digression over.  Moving on...

Riley and Nita - OMG Nita made my heart bleed a few times.  And even though her compliments were half-assed and backhanded, I knew she meant well and was just as insecure as everyone else.  And I have to tell you, I'm a little upset that Jack left with April and Riley.  Poor Nita!  New housekeeper or not, she and Riley were great little friends.  I hope Riley visits every summer and Skypes with Nita.

Speaking of person who instantly came to my mind to play her:  Dale Raoul who plays Maxine Fortenberry on True Blood.  I know she's much younger than the character, but I can't help it.  She plays such a tremendous southern, small-town BEOTCH on True Blood; I saw her immediately when Nita showed up in the diner and sat down with Blue and Riley.  Perhaps we can un-gnarl her knuckles just a wee bit?  :)

More casting tomorrow.  I'm going to be thinking about this in my sleep.

The Walking Dead: Twists and Turns

SPOILER ALERT:  I have one episode left in Season 3 of Walking Dead. 

Dangit Merle!  I was just starting to think I might be able to not totally hate you eventually, you dumbass!!!  OMG poor Daryl having to kill him.  I am so sick over that.  That poor soul has done nothing but help everyone else since Day 1...and now he has to kill his own brother.  It's so unfair.  (LOL I didn't give a rat's ass when Carl had to kill Lori.  What does that say about me?)

LOVED when Merle let Michonne go.  That was really awesome.  I think he realized there was a good chance of him dying...and he wanted Little Brother to know he was a good guy deep down.  Schnikees - I thought - for a minute, tonight - that Merle and Carol were developing a little understanding.  I was kindof hoping for a neat, little triangle between them and Daryl...but it was not to be.

Ummm...did anyone notice that we haven't seen Andrea since the governor tied her up in the house of horrors?  Holy crap - the thought of being tortured by that asshat is almost scarier than getting eatin' by a walker.

Glenn and Maggie are engaged.  Zzzzzz.  Don't get me wrong - they're cute and I like them both...but we're in the middle of the greatest storyline in weeks and you stop to show us the proposal-that-wasn't-really-a-proposal?  With a ring from a walker?!  And is it me, or was that so entirely gnarly when he cut off that poor walker chickie's finger?  Geez - tonight I watched Michonne stomp on some dude's head and squash it like a watermelon.  Yet seeing that woman's finger cut off was ten times worse.

Well at least we're not being subjected to Andrea trying to be the go between and get all the boys and girls to play nicely anymore.  Yawn.  That was pretty boring, too.

And for the love of all that's holy - Lori showed up AGAIN tonight??  WTF?!  Get RID of her dead ass already, man!  Or, at least, if you're going to bring back someone for hallucinations, make it Shane for god's sake!  Not Lori.  Even in death she's got that bitchy, condescending look about her.  It's really annoying - just like her.

OMG tonight was a great episode as far as walkers go.  It's about time we get back to the WALKERS being the scary part of the show and not the stupid governor.   And I hope it's not anticlimactic when they kill him on next week's finale (c'mon, you know they're gonna) like it was with that gross psycho on Boardwalk Empire this season.  You'd have thought they'd make his death slow and painful but nooooo... they just shoot him - and that's that.

But I digress.  Bottom line - I want pain and suffering or the governor.  Does that make me a bad person?

The Walking Dead: Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K

SPOILER ALERT:  I have 3 eps to go on season 3 of The Walking Dead.

W...TF?!?  Ya know...The Walking Dead is pissing me off.  WHAT have they done to the feel of the show?  Where is the FEAR?!  Where is the constant worry about WALKERS?!  I don't give a rat's ASS about the stupid governor and his annoying people.   The SCARY part about this show was the fact that you could die - by a crazed zombie - at any moment.  It seems to me that that feeling is long gone.  

Remember when they used to be afraid to use their guns because the gunshot sound would attract a ton of walkers?  HELL - remember when they used to have to deal with HERDS?!  THAT was some scary-assed SHIT.  But not now.  Now we just have to sit there - twiddling our thumbs - and listening to Rick and the Governor exchange pleasantries.  Zzzzzz.  For the love of all that's holy...if you're going to make me sit through that, at least fix up Rick's hair a bit and give us more close-ups of his eyes or something...GEEZ. 

By the way - again - watching The Talking Dead on AMC post-Walking Dead and damn does this show crack me up.  I love when they give you slow-mo of all the zombies who died close-up and personal on tonight's episode.  

OK back to the grind.  WHAT is with ANDREA?!?  Girlfriend has gone and lost her DAMN mind.  Is she with the governor?  (Ew, gross.)  Is she with Rick-and-the-Gang?  WHO the frig is Andrea rooting for?  Ya know, there was a day when she was FIERCE.  Not anymore.  It's like she hid in Michonne's shadow for a while and now she's this little shell of what Andrea once was.  So sad.  I don't really give a shit WHAT she does from here on out.  Just don't eff things up for Rick now that he's gotten over seeing Lori in a nightgown every five seconds. 

And speaking of Michonne - I love her.  That is all.  The governor best step OFF.  

Glenn and Maggie.  More zzzz.  I really miss the old Glenn.  He was happy go lucky and fun and made everyone laugh.  He wasn't this ridiculous badass-acting dude.  Geez - go hack into the state department's computers or something, would ya, man?  I'm starting to like MERLE better than Glenn at this point. 

OK that's all for now.  OH yeah - PS - When are Carol and Daryl going to hook up?  ("A girl named Carol followed Daryl every gig we played..."). 

ANOTHER PS - Andrea's going to kill the Governor.  Make no mistake.  Girlfriend is going to step up and take responsibility and get it done.  Just watch.  

HAWK is HAWT!!!!

WOOT!!!  THIS just in from Kristen Ashley:

Welp... here it is! GCP's new cover for Mystery Man, due out in print in August. Seriously... when they showed me this, I got a little tingle. Okay, maybe a big tingle. HAWK! HAWT! 

Rock on!

The Walking Dead Season 3: Clear

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up on season 3 of The Walking Dead and just finished the most recent episode called "Clear". 

HOLY CRAP!!!  WHAT an episode!!!  I don't even know what to think!  First off - I dig Michonne.  I have since Day 1 when she showed up with those armless walkers on a chain.  (WHAT a fashion statement, right?!)  They NEED Michonne.  Rick is just jealous because she's more of a badass than he.  He could LEARN a few things from her.  And he KNOWS it.  She is such an asset to this group of people...they are absolutely nuts if they don't keep her around.

And she keeps walkers on a chain!  Who doesn't love that?!

OMG MORGAN.  I am so devastated over what he's become.  He's like Sisyphus!  He just keeps rolling that boulder up the hill and it keeps rolling back down on him.  WHY didn't Rick tie him up and MAKE him come with them?!?  I don't go for this "he's resigned to his own fate" bullcrap.  RICK could have easily become that.  EVERYONE deserves a chance at living.  MAKE him try, for God's sake!

OK.  Backpack Guy.  Wow.  When they SAW his remains at the end and then TOOK his backpack???  I was SO PISSED.  They have LOST their humanity!!! ALL of them!!  WHY didn't they pick him up?!?  I get it - I really do.  Survival of the fittest...we can't take care of everyone...yada yada yada.  But still.  That guy was alone.  He didn't have a huge group with him...they could have at least picked him up and dropped him somewhere.

Do you think it was a play on that whole "Never pick up a hitchhiker" thing?  

Loved when Michonne helped Carl and did it in such a way that he was able to hang on to his little 11 year old dignity.  It was cool.  SHE is cool.  Rick better tell everyone to accept her when they get back to Home Sweet Penitentiary Home.

Watching The Talking Dead on AMC.  It's fantastic.  I was born to be on a show like this.  It's like a frickin' blog on tv.  Love.

The Walking Dead - Season 3, Episode 9

SPOILER ALERT:  I just watched Episode 9 in Season 3. 

All y'all had no idea I could
look this fly, now...did ya? 
WHERE is Daryl going??  How can they let him go?  Why don't they lock Merle up in a cell???  OMG Carol is SO UPSET.  (And so is the the chick on the show!)  ;)

(cue Run DMC beat)  "A girl named Carol followed Daryl every gig we played.  Then D kissed her and dismissed her, now she's jockin' Jay."

Don't the writers know how hot we all think Daryl is now that we get daily photo updates on the Hardcore Daryl Dixon Fans page on Facebook??

Meanwhile, Merle is so deliciously trashy and disgusting.  They are really missing out by NOT bringing him and his sick banter to the prison.  I hope this gets rectified sooon.

Buy this very cool Glenn print
from Vlad Rodriguez HERE
Glen's a badass...and I think I LIKE it!  He is not taking any shite from aaaaanybody.  Wind him up and watch him go!

OMG does anyone want to listen to Andrea bitch at the Gubner?  NO.  Shut UP girl!  Just go home to the prison or whatEVER but don't beotch up a storm; it's getting old.

I love how these dumbass townspeople are bitching about the Governer.  "Waaah...waaaah...He shot Richard!"  Um...duh.  Of COURSE he shot Richard.  Richard was going to EAT you, you dingbat.

Oh Lorddddddddd...and now Andrea's bitching at the townspeople.  What's that?  Do I hear Kumbayah playing in the background?  Oh, no...that's just in my head.

I love these new people.  WHY is Rick being such a douche?

Rick: "I can't be responsible."
Dude: "You turn us out; you ARE responsible."

Ohhhh...that's why Rick's being such a douche.  He sees dead people!  I forgot.

Once Upon a Time: What a Hook Up!

SPOILER ALERT:  I am caught up in season 2 of Once Upon a Time. 

Dear Hook, you're hot.  Love, Carol

WHEN are they going to make this guy someone's love interest??  It's just completely wrong that we have to look at him every week and know that all he's going to do is be a prick and skulk around on his invisible boat.

And does anyone really care that Rumple killed his wife by ripping out her heart?  I don't.  It was pretty black and skanky and needed some spring cleaning. Oops.  Can't put it back.  Oh well.

And how about Mulan?  Wow she's such a bitch!  And that's right, sister...Belle can kill the snot out of those weird Ghost Busters-looking gatekeeper beasts and you can't!  So step OFF.

And bam!  There goes Rumple over the line but Hook, that beast, shoots Belle...and now she has no memory (I think?)  And that car from Pennsylvania hit Hook!  (LOL After growing up in PA, I found that slightly amusing.)  Maybe he'll HOOK up with one of the nurses.  Pun intended.

American Horror Story: Best. Episode. Ever!!!

SO MUCH STUFF to catch up on!!!

American Horror Story - the greatest episode EVER was on last week.  When they started dancing to the Name Game song, I thought I'd plotz right there on the couch.  Not only did Evan Peters dance...but he also smiled...which is not an often occurrence with that dude.

OMG how about Sister Mary Eunice rollin' on into the incinerator with Dr. Nazi Freak on top of her?!?  (James Cromwell is a god.)  Was that not one of the single most amazing shots EVER in the history of television shots?!?  I did NOT see that coming at all.

Predictions:  EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE.  LOL  Assuming the journalist is going to make it out since she gives birth to that train wreck, Dylan McDermott.  But what about Jude?  I love her.  I've loved her since Day 1 and I love her now. does...not...matter!  Jessica Lange just exudes cool!

That scary assed Doctor Psychopath  - aka Zachary Quinto - is so juicy this season, I don't know what to do with myself.  Every time they show his face, my skin crawls.  It's so ingenius to take the guy who brought you comfort during half the season and make him into the most frightening character on the show.  I think he's going to die a horrible death; I just don't know how it's going to go down.

Father Not-A-Virgin?  OMG I knew Joe Fiennes would be fantastic - and he is all that and more.  The man has absolutely mastered the art of being over-the-top in so many roles.  This...Flash Forward ("There's gonna be another blackout!!!)...Camelot....he's always above and beyond with the emotions...which is sick fun to watch.  I am almost hoping he gets romantic with poor, brain-zapped Sister Jude...before someone kills them both, take them into the woods and feed them to Mark Consuelos.

10PM tonight, y'all!!  Get ready!!

Hopelessly Finished Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT:  I have finished Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

Wow.  I am exhausted from reading this book.  I feel like I need a shower and about 8 hours of solid, mindless TV to wash it all away.

I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.  I'm a bit confused at all the 5 star ratings and wonder if all the bloggers in the acknowledgments are really giving their honest opinion?

Why only 3 stars?  Certainly not because of Colleen Hoover's writing; I enjoyed that immensely.  And not because of her characters; I found them to be well thought-out and likable.  Holder is a character you want to spend time with...although he gets a little too sweet toward the end and doesn't seem as real.  Sky is just like so many of us who question ourselves and those around us...but don't necessarily want to know the answers.  She's very endearing in that way.

So what's my deal?  Well...I felt like it was two different stories; two different books.  The first half is laden with googley eyes about each other when you're in high school.  Don't get me wrong - I usually enjoy the sappy first love stuff...but it's a slippery slope.  You can overdo it and end up rubbing your readers the wrong way.  (Pun intended; nice grinding scene!  Wow.)  I liked the angst when it came to things like Holder getting upset over the bracelet...or leaving her house and not coming back...etc etc...but then things would seem to draw out a bit too long and I'd start losing interest until the next crisis.

One absolute joy in this book?  Breckin.  More, more, give me more.  I'd like a series just about him.  I totally want to go back to high school and look for the guy wearing bright pink shoes.  Only I went to Catholic school and you got demerits for that sort of thing.  I should know, I once got demerits for wearing a yellow sweater in homeroom.  But I digress.

OK - so - on to the 2nd half (or last third, I should say).  All the sudden you find yourself on this roller coaster ride and it's truly compelling...but you're thinking "Wait - wasn't I reading a lovely little story about young love?  How does child rape fit into this?"  And don't get me wrong - the last 3rd is truly interesting and riveting and upsetting...all at once.  All things that make for an outstanding story.  But I felt like I was a bit shell shocked and had a hard time switching gears.

Now...please don't misunderstand me.  I think Colleen Hoover is a damn good writer in that she's perfectly worded (no bad comparisons of someone's eyes to a rooftop...lordddddd) and her words flow exceptionally well.  I am looking forward to reading her New York Times Bestsellers, "Slammed " and "Point of Retreat " (aka girlfriend knows what she's doing.)

So - my overall synopsis?  I wish Hopeless were two books.  That way, I could recommend the first to my nieces in high school...and the 2nd to my book club.  If I had a book club, that is.  I used to, but I left because they only read horribly sad stories about things like child rape.  So you get my drift.  Maybe I just didn't like the subject matter of the last third of the story - even though it was thoroughly engaging and told with an abundance of tact and grace.

Really looking forward to a (friendly) discussion on by all means, comment away!!

Hope + Less = Hopeless

SPOILER ALERT: I am 5 pages into Oct 27th at 8:20 PM in HOPELESS.

Holy CRAP. This book has gotten interesting. Homeboy says "I love you, Hope" and Sky just called him out on it. And he's blatantly LYING to her by saying he never dated anyone named Hope because the color just drained out of his face when she said the name and he kindof freaked for a second about it. SHIT. WHAT is his damage???

And now I'm starting to wonder about the tattoo. HOPEless. Like he's without HOPE. As in a chickski...and not just the feeling. Shit, shit, shit. I am terrified for Sky right now. Especially after the freak out in the beginning of the book. Shit shit shit!

And I know we're going to find out she was abused...and the whole story about her mom dying and her dad not being able to take care of her is a big, ol' LIE. I bet Karen really IS her mom and she had to kick the dad out. But who gave her the bracelet???

And I have this horrendous fear nagging at we're going to find out she and Holder are related or something. Just like that Matt Dillon movie where they found out they were brother and sister...but they really weren't. UGH. Now THAT is some serious angst.

And I agree with Hildy. I think Karen's against the internet / phone / tv for a reason. Like she's in hiding with her daughter. But why would she leave her alone when she goes to flea markets? So that throws a wrench in my elaboration of Hildy's theory.
Crap! Gotta go read!!!

PS - Wait. Holder's got this thing about the word "hope". Maybe that's how he thinks of Sky? As his "hope" that's coming back? So maybe he was telling SKY he loved her?

OK no more theories. I have to KNOW!!!

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