Thursday, November 21, 2013

American Horror Story: Exsqueeze Me?

Spoiler Alert:  I have watched up to Episode 7: "The Dead." 


Please don't let me die in this robe!
Um, yuck.  The tongue thing was tres disgusting.  At least we got to hear Dennis O'Hare speak before Zoe killed him. I'm sure someone will bring him back, however.  That seems to be the way it works this season.  I hope so; that man is a god on screen.

No fair.  You're both
dressed and I'm in a towel.
Honestly, I'm a bit grossed out at the threesome.  I know this job gets its jollies by freaking people out...but that was just...so unnecessary.  They're kids.  And two of them are dead.  Ew.  Not sexy at all.

Is it me or do Kyle's body parts from other guys totally mess with your mind?  I felt so bad for him when he realized the tats weren't his.  Meanwhile, I wonder whose johnson he got.  Or rear end, which we saw plenty of last night.  Lorddddddd the gratuitous Evan Peters butt shot.

No matter how hard I
try, I just can't be sexy. 
Not sure how to feel about Fiona and Saxophone Devil Man hopping into bed together.  It was kindof...decrepit.  She's got one foot in the grave...and he's just...um...yeesh.  I don't mean to be a beotch because Danny Huston is a good actor.  But the sex doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me.  Fiona's dripping with sensuality...and Saxophone Devil Man is...um...not.  In the slightest.  He comes off more as a funeral director (NOT that funeral directors can't be hot; I'm sure there are some good ones out there.)  You get my point, so let's move on...

WHERE is Nan?  You've got Madison ho-ing around...Zoe killing people AND ho-ing around...Queenie up to NO good (I'll get to that in a minute), Fiona out doing the funeral director...and Delia feeling her way around the house and spilling tea.  So WHERE is Nan??? That poor kid is so neglected!  I wonder if it's on purpose and we'll find out SHE is the chosen witch with all the power.

Do they think I'm nice? NOT!
OK so Queenie - what's up with you, girl?  I get it; Delphine is a monster.  But YOU are not.  So why take her to Voodoo Stella Got Her Groove Back and hand her over like an animal?  You tried to save her in the past; why change now?
That's about all I've got in me about AHS today.  Next week will be very telling.  Either I'm going to continue to watch...or I'm going to start going to bed at a decent hour on Wednesdays; it's up to them.

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