Saturday, November 15, 2014

Reign: THIS...is Getting Good.

SPOILER ALERT:  I have seen through Season 2: Episode 4!

Watching tonight's episode of Reign and ooooh wheee!  THIS is the episode I've been waiting for since last season!!!

Mary and Lola are FINALLY having it out!!  It is ABOUT friggin TIME!!!  What BULLSHIT to think that these two would have been able to continue being besties and lunch in the garden together when Mary has got to be SEETHING about Lola sleeping with Francis!!  AND AND AND...Lola is completely OUT-OF-LINE right now.  How DARE she treat Mary like she's a bitchy royal who steps on everyone????  Mary has treated her like GOLD ever since she found out Lola was pregnant with Francis's child and THIS is how Lola repays her???  Mary LET Lola stay at the castle...she LET Lola raise that kid so close to Francis...Hell, she's LETTING them give the kid a friggin PARTY to introduce him to society!!!  And Lola's all "Wahhh wahhhh wahhhh...Help my friendddd...she had one moment of weakness wahhhhh."  OMG Lola is on my LAST nerve and better CHECK HERSELF.

A few things:

Mary's pregnant!!! How awesome is that???  She and Francis actually looked like they were HAPPY for five minutes when they were getting all cutesy out on the green.  Let's hope it will last.

HOW hilarious was Catherine when she barged into Mary and Francis' quarters???  OMG I love that woman.  She makes this show the dramedy it is!

Bash is friggin HOT.  I took one look at this video and realized I have been missing the true hottie on this show!!!

Greer is a dumbass.  Just hook up with Leif and call it a day!  Boyfriend is hot and digs you immensely.  WHAT is the problem??  The rich, curly haired Sean Penn look alike will get over it.  Maybe he can marry Lola.

OMG Mary is going to be the godmother of Lola's kid?  THAT is a creepfest.

Awww poor Mary.  I think I kindof knew that baby was not to be.  See the aforementioned "hope it will last" comments for clarification.  (And not to be gross...but I was salivating over her stained pink shoes when she retired to her chamber.  Hey.  A girl can't help it when it comes to great shoes!)

Looking forward to next week!!



Reign: Lordddd the Yawns.

SPOILER ALERT: I've watched the first two episodes in season 2. 

Not happy so far...but I'm holding out hope that things will go back to the way they used to be; deliciously ridiculous.  I think the writers have done a complete180 after only one season...and I don't know why.  It seems like they're trying to beef up their (horrifyingly inaccurate) historical side while squelching their fun, playful, who-can-we-hook-up-with-each-other-this-week side.  And the thing that kills me most of all is Mary and Francis.  I adored them last year...but now they're like this old, married couple who don't even like each other half the time.  And GEEZ, people...how about letting Mary SMILE once in a while??  Can't she and Bash get drunk and make out or something?

And PS - Makeup and Hair department...please, for the love of god, do something with Toby Regbo's hair.  He was gorgeous last season...he is still gorgeous...but now he looks like Little Boy Blue.  I'm a curly girl, myself...so I know of what I speak when I say STRAIGHTEN THE FRONT and STOP with the Dorothy Hamill meets Florence Henderson look.  Please.  If the storyline doesn't have to be historically accurate, poor Francis' hair doesn't, either.

That's enough for now.  Lordddddddd...that is enough!

Vampire Diaries

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm 2 eps into season 6 of Vampire Diaries.

Oooh Stefan...you SO busted, chumley!!  That was specTACular when Caroline walked in with Old Rude Vampire Dude.  The look on Stefan's face.  YOWsa.

This security in Mystic Falls situation is somewhat...um...what's the word?  Oh yeah...RIDICULOUS.

OMGOMGOMG "She fell in love with Damon when she was still with Stefan."  And there stands Stefan right behind her.  FAIL!!!

"You're a dick!!" That...ruled.  And Stefan deserved it.

OMG this compel me bullshiz is getting old.  Why can't Elena just grow the frig up and deal with Damon's "death?"  What a coward!  Everyone else has to deal with loss...but noooo...not Elena.  She gets to just forget...again.

I love this back and forth stuff with Damon and Elena...it's so sad.  Which is awesome because that's when Damon's at his best.

LOL - the scenes for next week are hilarious: "Is that blood - or pie?"

Friday, November 14, 2014

New Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer

Can't TELL you how thrilled I am that Sam Taylor-Johnson seems to have done exactly what I'd hoped she would.  It appears she's made a beautiful film about a man with a troubled past...and an unlikely relationship...and not a trashy movie with lots of kinky sex.  I guess I should hold my "hear hear" until I see the film...but just the trailer, alone, has me beyond exited for Valentine's Day.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Vampire Diaries Season 6 Premiere: Here We Go Again!

SPOILER ALERT:  Season 6 premiere of Vampire Diaries, y'all! 

Watching the season premiere of Vampire Diaries.  Just as juicy as always.  Damon's gone...Stefan's rolling out from under cars, Alaric's back in the classroom and Jeremy's high school ass is laying around drinking at 10AM.  Justtttt another day in on the outskirts of Mystic Falls.


My thoughts, right off the bat?


  • Do NOT like Stefan's new girlfriend.  
  • Alaric is the hottest thing on this show.  
  • Caroline's mother ALWAYS have to wear her police uniform??  Lord she's as bad as Hook from Once Upon a Time!!

What else??  LOVE the "girl got away from Elena" angle.  I hope she tells everyone in town and they hunt her with a pitchfork.  Speaking of...why doesn't Jeremy feel the need to hunt Elena?  I don't know that I've ever pondered that but WHAT GOOD TV that would be!

I don't like the twins.  They're annoying and bitchy.  Both of them.  I didn't like 'em last season, I don't like 'em now.  And why can't I remember why Tyler isn't with Caroline anymore?  Looks like he's going to be hooking up with bitchy girl twin soon.  Meh.

Like the Caroline/Stefan thing.  He needs to dump that annoying chick in Savannah and get his HOT ASS back to Mystic Falls.  Maybe he's just mad that his real life wife took off for Alaska (on the show) and married a pediatrician.  Poor Alaric.  He'll get over it soon enough, what with all that hot chicks running around campus.  How long until he hooks up with a 22 year old?  You know it's coming.


Monday, September 29, 2014

Fantastic Article with Sons of Anarchy's Kurt Sutter

I love Kurt Sutter.  He's ridiculously real.  Check out this Rolling Stone article, The Original Son of Anarchy: Meet Kurt Sutter.  Rutgers guy...from New Jersey.  Doesn't mention much about either here.  Not sure he wants to remember...


Monday, April 28, 2014

Game of Thrones: Awesome! No Wait... Ew.


SPOILER ALERT:  LOOK AWAY!!!  I have seen up through "Oathkeeper" (season 4, episode 4). 


How did I not see that Grandmama killed Joffrey??? Hot diggity.  I knew I loved that woman from Day 1.  And I ALSO knew - somewhere in my subconscious - she wouldn't let Margaery marry him.  How did I not see it??

OMG OMG OMG Margaery going to see Tommen in the middle of the night.  Oh she is deliciously conniving.  BUT - I am so sceeved.  How the frig OLD is this kid??  Oh gross gross gross.  Game of Thrones is bizarre...but THIS bizarre??  Are you KIDDING ME??

Brienne loves  Jaime.  I know she does. I'm dying to see them hook up.  Dying.  Why?  I have no idea.  It would be a) cute and b) a train wreck moment of epic proportions.  You know she'd  be on top.

Did those of you who read the books see this change of heart coming with Jamie Lannister?  He went from Douche Extraordinaire to Hottie McSoftie in the course of one season!  My lord he is fine.  Just LOOK at that man.  Brienne Loves herself some him.  And I don't care what they say...I didn't see last week's sex-next-to-the-body-of-their-asshole-son creepshow as rape.  Cersei was holding his face and kissing him while saying "stop it".  It seemed to me like she wanted to...but realized it was pretty creepy since Jackass Joffrey was lying right there with cucumbers in his eyes.  Beyond the whole brother/sister grossness, that is.

Also love how Jamie is protecting Sansa.  He knows his batshit cray cray girlfriend sister will have her killed...and SHE'S such a dumbass, she reminded him of his oath to Catelyn Stark...so now he's sending Brienne out to save her!!!  MEANWHILE...Brienne might want to rethink that decision...because if Jaimie ever got near Sansa, he'd want to hop on pop now that he's a free man.  AND she's a virgin.  Something tells me Hottie McSoftie would dig himself some untouched Stark ass.  And lordddddd...get her away from that sadist, Littlefinger!!  Ewwww...he is so gross, I can't even stand to look at him on the screen!  (OK so I said that about Edmure - aka Tobias Menzies - and yet now I love him so much I started Tobias Tuesday...but that's another story, entirely.)

OMG George RR Martin is obsessed with rape and dominance.  No wonder he and Diana Gabaldon breakfast together once a month.  I wonder if they trade ideas.

Love Khaleesi wielding her power all over the place.  I saw in the scenes for next week that she asks about King's Landing.  DOH.  Send her ass in there to rescue Tyrion before someone kills him!!!

Ooooh...Khaleesi-Tyrion.  Khaleesi-Terion.  Trask-Radio!!!  WHAT A POWER COUPLE THAT WOULD BE!!!!

GROSSSSSS.  OMG that cute little baby.  Aaaaand this is where Carol turns off the TV and goes to bed.  Lorddddddd I am not cut out for this show sometimes.  I don't even know WHAT that White Walker did with his Lee Press-on nail...but something tells me it was not tickle his chin whilst cooing "coochie coochie coo."  Bloooort!!!!!

OK - just googled and now realize all he did was turn the babe into a White Walker.  Could've been worse (insert WTF face here).


Monday, April 7, 2014

TURN: Damn! This Show is Good!

What do you think this is? The Patriot?!
SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched one episode of TURN on AMC.

OK this will be quick because we're only one ep in.  Not sure this is a bloggable show...but let me say I LOVED it.  I grew up in the Valley Forge, PA area and now live in Monmouth county in New Jersey...so believe me when I say that I am a total Revolutionary War lover.  This show is right up my alley.

Heather Lind as Anna Strong
Move it on over, baby girl.
I'm stealin' your man.
So I couldn't help noticing the relationship between the Abraham and Anna. Oooh girlfriend is playin' both sides!  She clearly still digs Abe and is married to that poor soul who is rotting in jail after spending a lovely, fun-filled rainy night on the pillory.  Poor Mary, Abe's wife.  She doesn't stand a chance with all her sweetness and light.  Anna is going to hit that marriage upside its head with all her colonial feminine wiles.

tu-s1-simcoe-590
I like my skivvies starched, bitch. 
Simcoe is a delicious douche.  I hope they don't kill him any time soon because he's just too good of an actor to only make it an ep or two.

Ben Talmadge is a reason to watch, alone.  That's one hot colonial, right there.

Now, is it me, or is Major Hewlett the biggest wuss to ever walk the planet?  Egads...talk about someone who isn't necessary.  He annoys me by just sitting there, eating steak and being his wussy self.

OK seriously - not much more to say at this point.  Can't wait for next week!!

Reign - The Consummation

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched up through The Consummation. 

WTF?  I am so...not confused...just...confused.

First off - I should be happy that Mary and Francis are married.  But I'm still so pissed off at Mary.  They ruined the whole friggin romance.

Secondly...MAN did she drop Bash like a HOT POTATO.  Now I feel bad for HIM!  And Francis hates him!  Come on, Francis...what would YOU have done if all that shit was dropped in your lap?  The same damned thing!  And poor Bash.   The whole time he and Mary were "together", all he did was run around like her lap dog, fixing all her problems.

Francis got to sleep with her and all you got was...

TO WATCH FRANCIS SLEEP WITH HER!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!

That was nuts!!!  They all stood around watching... and Lola was literally cringing.  That was some EXCELLENT drama right there.  Not even any blankets!  Just wham, bam, thank you, Mary...in that awful night dress thing.  And Francis was all "That's right...I can get it up...watch THIS!"

And NOW Nostradamus realizes he was wrong?  And I guess he's going to set out to kill Clarissa to make it all right...which is so awful.  And sad.  Queen Catherine should feel a lot worse than she does about the fact that that poor girl had such a shitty life.  OMG.

Ew and not that it deserves mention...but what's with Kenna?  Get me a hubby and I'll shag your brains out until you do?  What's with that??  She's so gross.  And she wasn't all that nice to Lola.  Geez.  Lola's looking OUT for her well being.  I can't even stomach her.

Long live the queen.  SO glad Catherine's not going to die any time soon.  Let's be honest; she's the show.

OH WAIT - Marie de Guise.  What do you think of Amy B?  I wanted to hate her (because her non-accent is so not spectac) but she's really good.  SO much fun.  It's like watching Cora and PaPA's mothers go at it on Downton!  FanTAStic!

OK...so...now we wait.  Another week of wondering what will happen.  And if you've studied history...you - like me - probably don't even want to know.


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

Spoiler Alert:  Just finished Me Before You by Jojo Moyes and this post is chock full of awful spoilers.  Turn back now if you haven't read it yet.  I beg you. 

Argh.  This is not an easy post to write.  So much to chew on in this book.  So much mental anguish and emotional turmoil to consider.  Not my usual dishly story.

Here's the problem I have with this book:

Will Traynor will not get out of my head.

I don't know what I ever did to him...but he won't leave.  He just sits there...mocking me...reminding me that he's not finished with me yet.   How's a girl supposed to deal with that?

A question I need answered:

(Did I miss it?  Did I skim?  Eek!)

Why didn't Will have a "Do Not Resuscitate" order?  When he had pneumonia...or his bag wasn't changed...or when any number of near-fatal crises arose, couldn't he have just let the lord take him then?  Why go to Switzerland and put so many people through that hell?  Because you want to do it on your terms?  Come on.  How about doing it on God's terms (whatever your idea of God may be)?  That would not have been easy on anyone in the short term...but your parents, sister, nurse and girlfriend (cuz let's face it; that's what Lou was) would sure as hell have had a lot more peace in the long run.

Holy crap, right???
I find myself being angry with Will.  And yet...I totally understand and back him in his decision.  I just wish he'd...waited.  And I know; he couldn't wait.  ARRRGHHHH.  SEE????  This book is maddening.  At least the aftermath is.

After a few days, I had to google...just to try to visualize the characters; especially Will.  Let's face it, most of us don't have a quadriplegic in our lives and might have a hard time "seeing" the story.  I found some really neat photos on this goodreads discussion page...first and foremost, this one that is supposed to be Will (posted by "Kristina".)  WOW.  I mean...holy cow.  I'd have to sit down if I weren't sitting already.  Does anyone know who this guy is??

And Lou?  Don't even get me started on visualizing Lou.  I love this character.  She's so everyday.  She appeals to that side of us that just wants to sit the eff down and watch some mindless TV and have everyone leave us the frig alone for five friggin minutes.  Is that too much to ask?  Lou kept that family together.

Treena =  Dasha from The Bronze Horseman.  I wanted to smack her half the time...and then, out of the blue, she'd do something totally sweet.

And no one cheered more loudly than myself when Lou kicked Patrick to the curb.  Hear,  hear.  That guy didn't give a rat's ass about her.  He might have thought he did...but he didn't.  Talk about putting Baby in the corner.  He'd have had her cleaning up after him and waiting up for him to come home for YEARS.  I can't tell you how happy I was that she was ANYWHERE - let alone Paris - WITHOUT him...at the end of the book.  I don't care that she was alone; she needed to spend some time away from everyone.  God bless her.

Speaking of Paris.  One snarkified comment: Sometimes I felt that Will was a bit too much.  He jumped out of planes and climbed mountains and made millions in business and knew how to do everything....and also knew this certain perfume and where to find it in this little shop in Paris...and he tells Lou he always thought it would smell great on her (or whatever eloquent language he used to express that opinion postmortem.)  I felt myself saying "Come ON.  A little far fetched."  Was it just me??

Two favorite scenes:  1)  Dinner with Lou's fam.  How awesome was Will?  Just when you thought he was a miserable prick, he'd show up and be charming as shit.  I loved him for doing that for her.

2)  The wedding.  OMG the wedding.  If this book gets adapted for screen, I will sit on my hands, waiting for that scene.  Sitting on his lap on the chair and "dancing"?  Oh shit.  I waited for that moment from the second we were introduced to Will.  And how about him actually WANTING to go to the wedding???  I was so proud of him for that.  It must have been a huge step for him.

You know...at the wedding, you could tell the bride and groom (I don't even remember their names, that's how much I hated them) were uncomfortable.  They didn't know how to deal with Will.  But you know what?  Neither did Lou at first!!  She had to learn to take care of - and spend time with - a quadriplegic.  I found that to be such a refreshing journey that we all got to take with her.  These people are not broken on the inside.  They are just living life differently than before.  They are human!!  Treat them as such!!!

OK...that's it for now, before I lose a gasket over Will's "friends".  Off to start another (hopefully gut-wrenching, mind-blowing) book.

Any suggestions?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Vampire Diaries: Goodbye to You

SPOILER ALERT:  Season 6 - Episode 12: 

(There's actually been one episode since this...we're waiting for 14 this week.  Butttt...here are my notes from ep 11.  'Cuz they made me giggle, even though they're week-old.)

LOVE the whole compelling Matt thing.  But couldn't he get around it???  

I think I hate Katherine's daughter.  She's annoying. 

Tyler is doing shots at 7:42 am.  

Oooh what's with the kid looking for Elena?  He cut off the funding to the vampire haters.  That's cool.  BUT - he wants Caroline to tell elena he's sorry?  Now isn't THAT interesting.  Methinks he's diggin' on her.  That would rule.  I'd rather her get away from BOTH Salivate Salvatore brothers, once Katherine finally gives up her body. 

LOL:

Stefan:  "How'd you like to be judged solely by who you're attracted to?"
Caroline:  Why? Do you know something?

OMG Elena's back!!!!  LOVE THIS!  You get out of there girl!  SHIT - she's back.  Katherine.  DAMN.  And I don't even LIKE Elena...but now I feel bad. 

Best Damon lines:

1) You once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan.
2) You brought be love advice from Prudy Trudy.

OMG poor Caroline.  Tyler heard her.  Wouldn't it be funny if she yelled "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!"  LOLOL

Awww C'mon - that isn't fair of Damon to say Stefan is enjoying Elena dumping him.  Stefan's been beyond cool about this relationship. 

Tyler's a douche.  STFU dude.  Even though you are looking very Robert Pattison-as-Edward Cullen in the Cafeteria scene of Twilight this evening.  Scrumpdillyicious.

Um, is anyone ever going to realize that Matt is the best looking guy on this show?  Jeremy's pretty tasty, too...but he's too dopey to be hot. 

The Walking Dead: We May Need Fonzie Soon

SPOILER ALERT:  Just watched the season 4 mid-season premiere. 

Every once in a while, an episode bores me so badly, I find it funnier to post the notes I took whilst sleeping through watching the show.  Enjoy.  

Why aren't these walker pets attacking Michonne?  I understand we have to suspend disbelief...but not after 4 seasons.  That's kindof BS.  These walker pets even have arms!  Hell...even severed walked HEADS want to eat you?  Whassup?

Ummm...Why is Carl mad at Rick?   Why isn't he waiting for him?  

OK enough of Rick and Carl walking around this house...it's getting old. 

Holy shit Carl you dumbass!!!

Dear Rick...are you dead?  Love, Carol

Poor Michonne.  Was that her baby??  Did her baby die??

This is boring the shit out of me.  A whole ep of Carl?  Ew. And could there BE any more commercials?  WTF?  What the eff IS this?  A Very Special Walking Dead?  An After School special??? 

Aaaaand there's Michonne.  Walkin' with her walker friends.  

Friday, February 7, 2014

Reign: Has Everyone Just Gone Total Outer Limits?

SPOILER ALERT:  The following is about episode 11 from season 1 of Reign. 

Who are these people who came to defend Catherine?  Does anyone know?  They're her family?  The Medici?  What is that, like the Voturi???

"We'll bitch slap Catherine
if her Medici family won't
."
They kindof remind me of the villain family on the Superman with Christopher Reeve.  Or even the gang from The Matrix.  I know, right?  I'm certifiably cray cray.

OK I almost fell off the couch when the king was raking Kenna over the coals about Catherine and Nostradamus...and Queen Cat said "Off with you child. You've killed me enough for one day."  She's SO wickedly intelligent!  She always knows what everyone's up to. And she doesn't even seem that sneaky about it!  She just...knows!

Viscount who??  She exiled him for calling her an Italian horse?  No, wait...an Italian Mule?  Huh?  I hate when they just gloss over this stuff and make it sound so trivial...when we know it's going to rear its ugly head in the future and be a big, hairy deal.

Can someone please explain how and why Nostradamus is alive?  I thought Miss Potato Sack Head killed him with the knife that was hidden in the doll?  WTF?  And WHO put the knife into the doll?  Did we ever figure that out?

Clarissa wants to be Mary's defender.  OH MY GOD I think she's Catherine's DAUGHTER?!?  HOLY SHIT!!!  Now THAT'S some good WRITING!!!

Ooooh SNAP!!!  Henry and Catherine are together at last!!!  Sucking face!  I love it!!!!!  They should do this EVERY week!!  I rather like them together!  What a force to be reckoned with!  Much too tough for France!  (Sorry French buds; just being a wiseass.  I love you guys.  Any country that eats cheese and pastry for breakfast is my kind of place.)

See?  Knew it would come back huge.  This dude is Catherine's boyfriend who let himself be exiled to hide their secret...AND she had baby potato mask head WITH him.  Shaving his face to expose the birthmark was a nice touch, Henry.  Well played, my lord...well played.

OH MY GOD.  Holy SHIT! Everyone is pissed at Catherine!  Even her scary assed Superman villainesque family!  I love how they're all "You suck.  And not because you suck, but because you don't suck, so therefore, you suck."

Oh Mary - STFU.  You caused all of this.  I wish Catherine really did poison you.  You are everyone's darling and you leave a ton of casualties in your wake.  I'm fed the hell UP with you at this point, beotch.

Uh oh - here come the scenes for next week February 27th:



"I am way better looking than her."
"I'll have what he's wearing.
And can someone do my hair?"
OMG did you see that???  WTF is up with HALF A FACE?!  It's like Boardwalk Empire meets Reign!!  OMG that mask makes Richard Harrow look like he had a little eyebrow session at Neimans!  That shit is scary as f^%k!  She looks like a doll on Supernatural!!!!!


And you know what???  While I'm in a cursing mood:

WHERE THE F%$& IS FRANCIS?!?!?!?

Ya know...I love this show.  I watch every week...and it has really evolved and matured as the weeks have gone by.  They are bringing in more characters, and the storylines are getting more complex.  There are a million ways they could go and it's fun to watch it all unfold.

But honestly...this is NOT the show I signed up for.  WHERE IS FRANCIS? FRANCIS IS the show!  And he's nowhere to be found!  And he's not on the scenes for next week, either!  So will that be the third week in a row with no Francis?!  Or are they going to zing us and bring him back just in the nick of time??

And does Mary even CARE???  THAT is what bothers me the MOST.  She screwed him over - and he LEFT HIS OWN HOME - and LOST HIS CROWN - and she's just sashaying herself around the castle like she OWNS THE PLACE!!!  I get that she needs to save Scotland, but what about HIS country???  What about saving HIS crown??

And you know what else?  Does she not miss him, even a little?  Does she have no remorse for the
fact that she's about to MARRY his brother who he grew up with and loves???

Ya know...we suffered through 8 WEEKS of CAT AND MOUSE between Francis and Mary before they finally consummated the relationship and told each other they loved each other.  And what happens next?  Francis is gone and she's telling BASH she's open to loving him!!!  WHAT A FRIGGIN HO!!!!  No sooner out of one's bed and working her way into another!!!  It's maddening!!  What about Francis?!  You loved him with your whole heart and soul just 2 days ago!!

I am not happy.  Nope.  Not at all.

(Can't WAIT for 2/27!)  :)





Thursday, February 6, 2014

REIGN: My Burning Question

I'll be blogging tomorrow about tonight's episode...but for now, I have to say one thing:

WHERE THE EFF IS FRANCIS????

Rant to follow maƱana...

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Reign: WHERE'S FRANCIS?

SPOILER ALERT:  I am discussing episode 10, "Sacrifice".

OH shiz - Catherine knows a TON of shit if she's the one sending everyone in to visit Bash at Privy Counsel. First the pregnant girl..and then the woman who tried to kill him.  Queen K is not to be messed with.

Here's what's bothering me already in this episode:

WHERE'S FRANCIS???

Daddy says I'm the best...
"Isabel's father was my mother's half brother".  Wait, what?  Shit.  I have to think about that.  OK so you're sortof first cousins.  Nice.  You people could rival the Dukes of Hazard crew...

OK and now Bash is sending the pregnant girl to his "other cousin's".  He sure does have a lot of family for being a bastard.

Taking the pregnant girl out the back way...dressing her up to look like a blueberry...

WTF...WHERE'S FRANCIS?????

OK so now we know Catherine is definitely behind the poison.  (Um, duh.  No big stretch.)  Can you blame her?  Survey says...NO WAY!  I mean, seriously.  With Bash dead, her son would be the future king.  Of course, she'd have to kill Mary at some point...but...whatevs.  I'm a little disillusioned with her at this moment in time anyway.

Oh Cat, I love what you've
done with the place!!!!!
I'm in hysterics at the fact that Catherine is redoing the dungeons in a lovely shade of Versace...

Bash's mother's father had a bastard son, too.  "Jonathan Durant"  That's the pregnant girl's father.
GEEZ!  Very progressive for the 16th century, no?

Um...WHERE'S FRANCIS???

"I marvel to think how grating and tedious you must also be...to achieve such a thing..."  ROFLMAO.  The best part about that statement is that I can't even remember who said it!  Catherine?  Mary?  Either way, it's positively scrumptious.

"Do you think I care what the kings former bed thing chooses to gossip?"  ROFLMAO  "former bed thing".  Now THAT is funny.  Does anyone truly like Kenna?  I know I don't.

Mary!  Don't be a ho!  Looking all cutesy-eyed at Bash.  Did you not just wake up with Francis YESTERDAY morning????  Which reminds me...

Bitch...WHERE'S FRANCIS?!?!

OMG now the baby's mother is dead??  Oh shiz.  WHO is going to raise that baby?  Watch Henry be
all cute with her or something.  That'll make me vom as he pretty much hates anyone without a pair of tatas pointed squarely in his direction.

Awww isn't that cute.  Bash and Mary cut their hands and dripped blood onto the grave.  Right before they MADE OUT.

UGH...WHERE'S FRANCIS?!?

Oh yeah and I just saw the scenes for next week.  Ummm...did anyone ask themselves...

WHERE THE EFF IS FRANCIS?!?!?

Postscript:  I find it absolutely delicious that this is the first week my hubby didn't fall asleep whilst during the show.  Why?  Because he doesn't like Francis!!!

HERE are the scenes for next week's episode, "Inquisition".  I'l tell you what...if Francis' hot, boney ass doesn't show up by the end of this episode, I'm someone's going to need a sedative.


Thursday, January 30, 2014

Vampire Diaries: Goodbye to You

SPOILER ALERT:  The following are my thoughts whilst watching episode 11, "500 Years of Solitude."

Wanna shag me gone?
KLAUS!!! OH MY GOD! He's here!  With Caroline!!! In the woods!  Didn't see THAT one coming!!!

"In a shocking twist, Katherine's daughter's a psychopath."  ROFLMAO!  Damon is so friggin' funny, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'd like a book of nothing but Damon's one-liners.  Think someone can make that happen over at the CW?  Let me know.  Thanks.

WOW Klaus and Caroline getting BUSY in the woods!  This is outSTANDing!!!  I've wanted these two together since his hot, douchey ass first told her he dug her.  I love the angst, too.  "Ummm...OK so I'm going to give you the bestest, hottest, up-against-a-tree sex that you've ever had....and then you're never going to see me again, mmmkayyyy?  Great."

Shiz - is Katherine really dying?? Seriously?  C'mon now.  She's one of my favorite characters.  Her bitchiness just rounds out Elena's whineyness soooo nicely.

"Get out, Elena."  I just said that.  *I* did.  Me.  On my couch.  That just popped right the hell out m'mouth.  OUT LOUD.  Just take your skinny, immature ass right back out the door and let Katherine die with a shred of dignity, please.  We all know you're perfect and she's the devil.  Got it.  Now go.
I'm not giving blood!
Just stick it in my arm!  
Ummm...OK so when did Elena become a phlebotomist?  Oh right...it was only a shot.  She's just so good at so many things...it's hard to keep track!  What's next?  Astro-Physicist?

Oh SNAP...Katherine's Elena!!  NICE!!  Didn't see THAT one coming, either! (Seems to be the phrase of the night!)  OK so it looks like SOMEbody's been watching Once Upon a Time and wanted to try out the old person-switcheroo.  THIS is tasty as hell as storylines go.  Think about it.  Elena's going to come close to being buried...and Katherine's going to go schtup the shit out of Damon.  I think I LOVE this!!  Wait - maybe she'll dump Damon and hook up with Stefan again (because we all know he'd be slightly more AWESOME in bed than Damon.)  ;)

And lastly...Stefan.  I'm sorry...but I can't stand watching him be all nice to Damon about Elena.  Um, EW!  He totally got the short end of that relationship stick.  Or did he?  Actually - he made out pretty well as he's NOT HAVING TO PUT UP WITH ELENA'S WHINING ANYMORE!!!

OMG and how about all the dead people showing up in this episode???  ALARIC!!!

Be still my heart!!!  It was like being blinded by a thousand rising suns.  (Yes.  I do love Alaric and my life would be more COMPLETE if the CW didn't feel the need to OFF HIM.)  ;)

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Reign: I Can't HANDLE the Truth!

SPOILER ALERT:  I wrote this while watching episode 9,  "For King and Country".

"I grew tired of you a decade ago."...ROFLMAO!  The king gets on my last nerve...but that shit was funny.  And Catherine deserves it, too.  She causes such destruction and then sits back and acts like she knows nothing about it.  Bitch needs to "get hers".  Nomesane?  (That's "do you know what I'm sayin'?" for anyone who didn't get my sad attempt at humor.)

FRIG - I feel so guilty.  I love Francis.  I adore Francis.  Yet Mary's not away from Francis 10 minutes and I'm already salivating over Bash.  SHIT.  This never happened to me with Vampire Diaries.

You can't leave me, Mary!
I look scrumptious in black!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT???  Mary MARRY BASH?!?!?!  If that happens, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.  The second she and Bash were back from her adventure in the woods, Frahhhhncis was all KINDS of pissed off....and looking majestically badass in that black outfit.  And I was RE-hooked.  Sorry Bash...but Francis is just so pretty and full of baditude.

Wonder which one of
them has a bigger...hat.
Damn girl...Don't do this!!!  What's with the private chamber plotting??  Love me some Bash but you are going to cause all KINDS or problems between brothers if you keep this cray cray up!!!  Why do these women want to drive a wedge between brothers??? Have their mothers taught them nothing?? You pick one - and stick with him.  End of story!!  And, um, hello??? Do you have a brain in your head?  Just marry Francis!!  C'est la vie!!  Stop playing God!  I know Scots are awesome and all...but don't let it go to your head, bitch!

Yeah.  I'm hot.
And I'm not even British. 
OK you know what?  Nostradamus (who is actually somewhat Stefan Salvatore-hot when cleaned up) is annoying the crap out of me.  One minute you're all sweet and ...like a little lost bird...and the next you're being a douche to that poor Rocky Denis girl in the dungeon!  Make up your damned mind!  It's no wonder she got pissed and killed your ass!  (But who gave her the knife??  Catherine, so Nasty couldn't tell on her??  Which would mean Catherine knows about her.  Which, duh, is most likely the case.  But who the eff IS she?!  Do the writers even know???  What is this, LOST???)

Separated at birth? 
And has anyone ever seen Nostradamus and John Krasinski in the same room at the same time?  Just checking.

OMG Poor Francis. I can't even watch.  He is getting so screwed!!  In all areas of his life!!!  One minute he's losing the love of his life...and the next, he's losing his crown!!!!  Poor guy!! It'll serve her Scottish ass right if he takes off and goes effing every maiden girl within a 100 mile radius now that he's poor-and-cute instead of being rich-and-cute.

Speaking of...

Where IS Francis?!?  WHERE DID HE GO???  Why isn't he in the scenes for next week??? OMG I am going to lose it.  Seriously.  I have not been this angry at a show in a LONG time.

See for yourself:

            


Bottom line - I canNOT sit back and watch her marry Bash-licious with Francis nowhere in site for weeks.  THAT will just not work for me.  It *is* the CW though...so I'm sure he'll be back next week and they're just messing with us in the scenes.  Right?  RIGHT?!

Stefan...Damon...
Stefan...Damon...
Stefan...Damon...
And (the following involves a Vampire Diaries spoiler for those of you who haven't passed season 1 yet) here's what else is ticking me off.  I have put up with endless seasons of Elena bouncing back and forth between Stefan and Damon on The Vampire Diaries.  It's annoying as hell.  And if the CW thinks I'm going to sit back and watch that shit on a show that is SUPPOSED to have at least SOME historical accuracies....they are SADLY mistaken.

Damn, y'all.  When was the last time I was this pissed of?!?  Clearly I love this show!!!!


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Fifty Shades of Tsk Tsk Tsk


OK so Julia just sent me this interesting DListed article about Fifty Shades of Grey...and how the author thinks the film is going to suck because there won't be enough sex and nudity.

I wanted to share my response with you guys and get your opinions.

(Am I on an island?)

I’m sure I'm in the minority because I really don’t want tons and tons of sex.  For me, personally, the heart of the story is Christian Grey’s effed up mind…and the people/things that have shaped his life.  I think our imaginations are usually more sexy than what’s on screen. I fear they could really screw it up if they show too much.  Just the sight of the red room - for me - will be truly exciting.  (Expecting everyone to disagree.  It’s cool.)  :)

PS - I am pleasantly surprised that everyone who responded to the email thread agreed!  I truly thought I would come off as boring as hell.  LOL   It's such an interesting topic...and not just for Fifty Shades.  I'm definitely a "less is more" person.  How about you?