Tuesday, September 24, 2013

World War Z: These Ain't Walking Dead Zombies

WOW.  Did anyone see World War Z?  I saw this trailer in the theatre when I was waiting for Breaking Dawn 2 to start.  So I was a little giddy and subsequently thought "Eh...total Walking Dead rip off...but the dudes climbing up the wall are cool."

BOY was I wrong!  This movie is SO much fun!  The zombies aren't like Walking Dead zombies that putter around and "quickly saunter" at best.  These suckers RUN!  And ATTACK!  And their teeth chatter like that thing with the little mouth inside the mouth in Alien 17 (or around 17...pick a number).  AKA it's SCARY AS SHIT!  I LOVED IT!

I seriously had no idea it would end up being a horror flick.  Lots of scary moments, right out of the gate.  Lots of eye-covering...lots of stomach agita...lots of "Brad!  Lookout!" to keep you going through the whole thing.  I never once looked at my watch.  It.  Was.  That.  Good.  Sure...you have to suspend disbelief a few times ("HOW did he get there so fast?")  But its worth it.  So watch!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The White Queen: Love Stinks!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have seen 6 episodes of The White Queen.

Warning:  LOL!  This may be the most shallow commentary I've ever given about an episode of The White Queen...or anything else!  It's full of "he did her and she hates him and they suck and ain't she a bitch".  And the HILARIOUS part about that is...this was real life!  Well...sortof.  They rewrite history...but real life runs in the background...we'll put it that way.  

OK - let's get to it!

Why is Elizabeth being such a BITCH to Ann??  She's lucky to be alive, let alone wearing those dresses and living in that castle!  BITCH!  I want to smack her!

Richard, please kiss me already.
You is HOT boy!
OMG Just marry Ann off to Richard already.  Why are they keeping her prisoner?  It's so stupid.  Money, money, money.  Doesn't George have enough at this point??

Oooh snap!  Margaret's mother is dying.  Ew you can almost smell her through the screen.  Gross. I'm surprised there isn't skin falling off her face.  Meanwhile, Margaret's going to go do Jasper Tyooooooder the second her mother croaks.  And rightly so.  It's about time that women get a little sumpin sumpin.

Ho, party of 1?
OMG EDWARD YOU IGNORANT SLUT!!!  I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM!!!  Damnit - I really thought he was different now.  SHIT.  He just DID some HO and Elizabeth walked in and caught them!!

YEYYYYYY Richard and Ann are getting married!!!  I've been waiting for this for weeks!

Weren't expecting me to be so
aesthetically pleasing, were you
oh mother of Henry TYOOdor!
OMG Margaret and Lord Thomas Stanley - I kindof like this!  He's not bad looking!  Actually, he's kindof cute!  He's the perfect age for her, too!  Oooh snap - now they're married and she wants herself a piece!  Just TELL him, ya dumbass!  I hope she comes back out of that room and knocks on his door.

Peace out from Princess Leia!
Poor Elizabeth.  I hated her a half hour ago but now I feel so bad for her.  Her mother's dead, her baby's dead with her mother (WOW that death scene was powerful) and her husband's schtupping the local ginger cutiepie.  THAT SUCKS.

SO happy about Richard and Ann.  I think he loves her.  I hope he loves her.  She's the only one on in this whole situation with a conscience!

Boy did I really back the wrong horse!
Oh sureeee....NOW Isabel is nice to Ann???  No WAY!  Eff OFF, beotch!  I felt so bad for her a few weeks ago and now I can't stand her!  She deserves her asshole husband!

What's the deal with Elizabeth and Margaret?? WHAT FUN!  How delish!  If they become allies, this show just upped its own anti.

And PS - how long until they have a heated, "I must have you now" scene between Margaret and her new hubby, Thomas?  Yum.  Can't WAIT!

Friday, September 13, 2013

True Blood - Season 6 Finale

ROFLMAO - Just found this outline I typed while watching the True Blood finale.  It was so "meh", I didn't bother to write it out!  I thought it would be funny to just post it like this, spelling/grammar errors and all...


stupid party outside bill's house - like the maynard

waht's with jason's chickie with the pink pants - she's suffocating

I want bill and sookie back together

Warlow is annoying - I'm so glad Sookie's not going ot marry him or be his "Fairy Vampire Bride" (Jason)

Eric - Sorry your mom blew up ricky

WTF is up with Jason's Porn?  That was bizarre.

Sam became mayor in 6 months?  Whaaa?

Once again - no lines for the best one on the show aka Lafayette

I KNEW that was a wig on Alcide.  THANK GOD.  He looks SO MUCH BETTER with short hair!
What's with him and Sookie?  Blech.

Tara and her mother?!?  THAT WAS A COOL SCENE!!!!

WHERE'S QUINN??? Are we EVER going to meet Quinn?  I guess not.  Alcide is Quinn enough for both of them.  At least we're not going to have to endure the kitchen dry hump between Quinn and Sookie.




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Breaking Bad: They Faked Me Out Again!

Spoiler Alert: Aww hell...there are, like, 3 eps left???  If you're not caught up - back away slowly! ;)

OK is it me, or was the final goodbye between Hank and Marie pure genius?  I saw that...and said to
my husband, "Oh this is it.  Hank's gonna bite it.  The hillbillies are-a-comin'."  Well- I was right about one thing; the hillbillies sure did make a grand entrance.  BUT - Hank is still alive (or was at 9:59) and lives to see another week!  AMC faked me out, yet again.  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

And my husband can't figure out how all those automatic weapons could've missed.  He even did his own reenactment of Hank and Gomez, SLOWLY running over behind the cars, to demonstrate just how ridiculous it was!  (Boy do I wish I had that on video for y'all.)

Now WHAT do y'all think m'boy JESSIE is up to with that car door, yo???  Is he trying to escape?  Where's he gonna go?  I don't think so.  Nope.  I think he's actually wondering if he can sidle up next to one of those Nazi freaks and hold a gun to his head...ultimately saving Hank, Walt and Gomez.  Don't think it's possible?  Think again.  Jessie was quite a badass in Mexico, remember?  Something tells me a guy who's got nothing left to lose won't be all that afraid of a few AK47s.

Saul.  Lorddddddd Saul.  That hair is priceless.  He's so lovable and disgusting.  I really hope that
rumor I heard about a spinoff is true. HOW much do I love Saul?  I'm going to say goodbye to these guys like the scarecrow, tin man and lion in the Wizard of Oz in a few weeks...and I may miss Saul most of all...

PS - I found this photo on this tremendous Breaking Bad/Saul Tumblr page AFTER I TYPED THIS and almost fell off my damned chair.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Fifty Shades of HOLY CRAP she did NOT just SAY that!!!!

Smut Alert:  This article is not for everyone.  If you have a problem with smut and dirty words, what I am about to share is not for you.

If you don't mind smut, and enjoy some dirty words once in a while, especially coupled with Fifty Shades of Grey discussion, get your ass over to the Bitches Gotta Eat blog.  And strap yourself in for one hell of a hilarious, tears-running-down-your-cheeks, bumpy-assed ride.  I truly haven't laughed this hard in I can't TELL you how long.  Enjoy!