Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Game of Thrones: WTF is Going On?

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm up to the most recent episode, Through the Fire and the Flames.

Step OFF, bitch!
Finally catching up on Game of Thrones.  Is it me or is this show is getting ridiculously confusing?   It's like trying to figure out an SAT word problem when you've got a wicked cold and took a little too much Dimetapp.  For the love of all that's holy...I'd almost rather watch Khaleesi bitch about her dragons for another season.

OK so WTF has happened to the House of Stark?  They're scattered all over the universe.  I loved them early on when Ned was the head of the household and the boys used to frolic in the meadow with their wolves.  I'll tell you one thing; that Arya is a badass.  I think she's more competent to handle the throne than Rob.  Lordddd that guy is a hot mess.  Either send your MOM and wife home or tell them to fix you a turkey pot pie.  Geez...do SOMETHING other than whine, dude.

Why am I freezing out here
when I could be skinny-
dipping with John Snow?
It's the new Jan Brady!
And John Snow and the redhead (who reminds me of the movie Jan Brady)... HEL-loooooo.  "I just wanted to kiss you there" (said in a cockney Paul McCartney accent, circa 1964).  I guess we all saw that coming.  But is it me or was it a little...uncomfortable?  The whole scene seemed a little disjointed.

Holy hell - here comes poor Jamie Lannister and his hand hanging around his neck.  OH SHIT - that wrist is looking GNARLY.  Dayam.  Take the milk of the poppy, ya dumbass!  WHat are you thinking?  That always makes me laugh when they try to tough it out when someone's basically pulling their skin off with the equivalent of a handmade hacksaw.  Lovely.

I just wish they'd give me
something else to do but
bitch all damn day!
I don't even know what
to say about Sasquatch.
OMG finally Rob Stark shows some balls.  But how can he when he's gotta Mama (who IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS) and his new wifey questioning his every move??  THAT'S IT. Forget the pot pie.  He needs to send them the hell home.  They don't belong with him at war.  Although...um...since when does the king double as executioner?  Kindof bizarre.

OMG Jamie Lannister you poor bugger.  That story!  He is going to FORCE me to love him, damnit.    Why didn't he TELL anyone?  And it makes him even more attractive that he didn't!  And I swear, I think he's going to hook up with Sasquatch.  I think I might even like it!  She rules.  Let's be honest.  Starkmom was a fool to let her go.  Hell - Rob's getting so uptight that he might lop off HER head next.

I'm sorry, what?  I wasn't listening.  I was too busy
coming up with my next douchy move toward Tyrian.
OK so...by the lacking nature of this post, you can pretty much tell how much this episode sucked.  I'm leaving whole storylines out because they were boring confusing as hell.  UNTIL THE LAST SCENE.  Holy crap!!!  I don't know what I loved more...the juicyness of the entire scene...or the smirk-wiping Cersei suffered when she found out she has to marry that Tyrell guy who's always bedding the guys.  That was de-LICIOUS.
I am the sceeviest man on this show. 

She was sitting there all smug at poor Tyrian...who has such a good heart.  If they marry him off to Sansa, it'll be totally bizzarre...but AWESOME.  You can't GET a better storyline!  OMG Sansa is going to freak.  Although  - ew - does she want Littlefinger?  Gross.  SO sceevy.  If I were her, I'd be all "sounds good to me!"   I love myself some Tyrian Lannister.  He's hot...and you'd laugh your ass off all damn day!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok so I'm so glad you are caught up I was paiently (ok not so patiently) waiting for the post.

The house of Stark needs to re-group. I was so up set when they killed Ned, he was my favourite but that is a cross I have to bear. Rob seemed to fall downhill a lot when he became Mr. and Mrs. Stark. LOVING Arya! She is so much like her dad, if only she had of been the first born male this war would be OVER.

now I haven't read the books so this is a total guess that I am putting out there BUT I think that Jamie L is totally making up that story to get some sympathy. He is very sinister do NOT forget it. He hand was gross, I had to look away. YUCK I also think he is going to give Sasquatch some of his YUM YUM and then ditch her like his chopped off hand. (again just my opinion)

And yes, Littlefinger is sceevy, even his name is sceevy. Run Sansa run.

That last scene with them at the table - O M G - Was that not great? Sansa is lucky if she gets Tyrian and the 'queen' totally deserves the gay guy, as oppose to her brother!Seriously it's your BROTHER!

~ Menatra

Carol said...

UGh - what is WITH the House of Stark?? I loved Ned, too. I was in total shock when they killed him. I should really read the books.

If Jamie is making up this story, I'll hate him even more...but it will be delicious...so I'll accept it. LOL!!! And you are so right - i can't let myself forget what a douche he is!!! Totally agree about Sasquatch. They have this weird relationship. Although I'm kindof wondering if maybe she'll swear to protect him next. She jumps around a lot. Very fickle in her protection, that one. ;)

LOL re: Run Sansa run!

Tracey R. said...

OK, Carol, you know who Ygritte is, right? Gwen from Downton Abbey!!!

Totally agree about Jamie and Sasquatch. Right now I think they're the most interesting characters on the show....

Leenie said...

I am livid. How can they do what they did tonight and still have a next season, please tell me this is not the end.

Carol said...

You are not kidding. :( And don't worry - they will go on. Slightly less heavy on the Stark side...but they will go on!

Carol said...

WHERE was Sasquatch last night? I have to post the new blog. And Ygritte is a shit on GOT. I hate her. LOL